YOU vs THE JOKER – WHO WOULD WIN?


You can’t quite get yourself to sleep one
night and decide to go for a jog. The city is quiet, and it’s kind of nice to
be out here when nobody is around- it feels like you have the whole city to yourself. As you jog past the rear of your local bank
though, you can’t help but notice several men loading what look like canvas bags into
a truck through a rear door. An icy chill of realization strikes you when
you realize you’ve accidentally stumbled onto a bank robbery- and that icy chill turns to
actual ice when you hear a maniacal laughter coming from the darkness behind you! Slowly you turn around and there he is, in
signature purple topcoat and white makeup, it’s the clown prince of crime- the Joker
himself. And now you’re just another loose end he needs
to clean up. So you decided you’d try and be healthy and
work your insomnia off with a nice late-night jog, but stumbled straight into a criminal
plot by one of the most dangerous super villains in the world- how are you going to defeat
The Joker? As always to defeat your enemy, you must know
your enemy. And with The Joker, well it can be hard to
know what’s real and what’s not. As he has famously said himself, he prefers
that his past and origins be multiple choice, and thus nobody is quite sure where the Joker
came from. What is known about the Joker is that he was
once diagnosed with every major psychological disorder, and is believed to be incurably
insane. If you’ve seen our Who Would Win episode,
Pennywise vs The Joker, then you already know that The Joker easily defeated Pennywise while
barely breaking a sweat. That’s because Pennywise’s primary weapon-
the ability to cause fear- was completely ineffective on the Joker, given that the Joker
is simply too insane for Pennywise to read his mind and figure out what he is afraid
of. That wasn’t just our opinion by the way, once
the superhero The Atom shrunk himself down and entered into the Joker’s brain and witnessed
the Joker’s memories for himself. Unable to tell what was real and what wasn’t,
the Atom nearly went insane himself from the experience. Joker’s insanity makes him completely unpredictable,
and in a weird way that is one of his greatest strengths. Numerous super heroes have failed to defeat
the Joker because of his unpredictability. A skilled hand-to-hand fighter, the Joker’s
insanity makes him a completely unpredictable opponent and super heroes who rely on reading
minds or body movements to defeat their opponents in hand-to-hand combat find it impossible
to do so. Other superheroes who find themselves caught
up in his villainous plots often find it impossible to out think the clown prince of crime- either
the Joker’s plan is simply too unpredictable, or he’s so insane that he thinks about things
in a way that nobody else possibly could. This unique way of tackling problems has seen
the Joker defeat nearly every major superhero at least once who’s ever gone up against him. He famously shamed Aquaman by turning his
own people against him, and tricked Mr. Mxyzptlk into giving him a portion of his reality warping
powers only to create a ‘backwards’ version of the world and torment Superman. He’s basically run circles around Batman for
the majority of their shared existence, and even turned former Robins against him. One of the Joker’s signature weapons is Joker
Venom, a powerful gas with lethal side effects. The venom comes in two forms, and can be turned
into an aerosol which can be sprayed, or remain in its natural liquid form which has no taste
and no smell, making it nearly undetectable. In either form it comes in two varieties,
the lethal and non-lethal. The non-lethal variety is believed to incapacitate
a victim by hyperstimulation of the laughter parts of the brain. A mild dose can leave a victim laughing hilariously,
while a concentrated dose can lead to a victim being nearly paralyzed from the effects of
the poison. Prolonged exposure to the gas in even its
non-lethal form however can have serious side-effects, ranging from insanity to paralysis, and eventually
death. The lethal form of the poison acts much in
the same way as the non-lethal form, only it is delivered in a much more concentrated
dose. This leads to over stimulation of the laughter
parts of the brain, sending a victim into laughing spasms. The spasms make it impossible for the victim
to control their body, and the spasm muscles also prevent the victim from being able to
physically breathe. Victims often also experience lockjaw, sometimes
even biting down so hard that they shatter teeth or bite their own tongues off, and the
muscles tense so violently that they are left with a large frozen grin similar to the Joker’s
own. The Joker is completely insane, unpredictable,
and a criminal genius, so how in the world can you the average joe hope to succeed where
super heroes have failed. Well, first things first, you need precautions
against the Joker’s venom. That means picking up a gas mask from your
local surplus store and keeping it handy at all times. Also purchase a field water purification system
while you’re at it, because there’s just no telling what the Joker may have tainted around
you. Food should be safe enough as long as it is
relatively dry items, the Joker venom is only effective in liquid or gaseous forms. The thing about facing off against the Joker
though is that he’s probably not the only threat you’re going to have to be watching
out for. Harlequin is almost certainly going to be
part of the picture- wether the Joker himself wants her to be or not. She has a habit of showing up where she pleases,
being both wildly independent and yet strangely subservient to the Joker. As the Joker’s foe though, you can be that
Harlequin is going to be out for your blood as well. So we recommend you keep your head on a swivel,
and if any attractive blondes start becoming really flirty with you, it’s time to run
the other way before you get a giant mallet to the head. Half of your winning your fight against the
Joker is going to simply be avoiding Harlequin herself, who’s sure to interject herself
as frequently as possible. Now you might be thinking that Harlequin could
perhaps be used against the Joker, she is after all his de facto girlfriend. Maybe if you captured her and tied her up,
threatened her life or just tried to use her as a bargaining chip. That’s likely not going to work though,
as the Joker has shown many times that when it comes to old Harle, he really couldn’t
care less about her. It’s a tragic story, but then again that’s
madness for you. To defeat the Joker himself though is going
to require some real out of the box thinking. Forget about trying to go toe-to-toe with
him, other heroes have tried and he’s beaten most of them. The Joker is in surprisingly good shape, although
laughing does burn a great deal of calories so perhaps that’s no big surprise. He’s also a good hand-to-hand fighter though,
so it doesn’t really matter what fancy martial arts moves you think you know, you’re just
not going to get the upper hand against a skilled, and completely unpredictable Joker. Plus, if he thinks he can’t take you down
physically, the Joker simply won’t try to. He’ll get you another way- you’ll hardly be
the first big dumb brute the Joker has run circles around. The only real way to defeat the Joker is,
well, to get him to quit fighting. The Joker’s motivations are completely unpredictable,
and he is rich enough to not need to commit crimes- yet he is routinely involved in the
most petty aspects of his criminal empire’s operations. He could be masterminding the greatest jewel
heist in history one day, and acting as a getaway driver for a convenience store robbery
the next. For the Joker, the fun is in the crime, and
it doesn’t much matter what role he plays. He can however completely quit in the middle
of his schemes. He once quit in the middle of some bonafide
Joker-villainy because he simply wasn’t getting the credit he felt he deserved for his crimes,
and another time he quit in the middle of a complex criminal plot with the Red Skull
when he realized that the Red Skull was a for-real Nazi. Even the Joker doesn’t like Nazis, and who
can blame him really? So maybe it’s time to turn the tables on the
Joker. If he has a weakness, and it’s difficult to
call it that, it’s definitely that he hates when other people take the credit for his
crimes. Therefore to defeat the Joker, you’re going
to have to become the Joker. And we actually mean this literally. You are going to adopt your very own Joker
persona, only make sure that you make it just different enough to annoy the real Joker. Perhaps wear his traditional color scheme
of green hair and purple topcoat backwards- give yourself purple hair and a green topcoat. Or you could just try being Jared Leto. Then, start doing crimes. Only don’t do normal crimes, you need to do
insane crimes that really get the media’s attention. Start a criminal ring that steals insulin
from diabetic patients in one city, and sells it to diabetics in an adjacent city. Plan a heist to steal the Mona Lisa and other
great works of art, and then take those works of art and donate them to charity. Get your gang of criminals to steal all the
money in every tip jar in the city. You need to get crazy, and then when you’ve
got the media questioning who the real joker is, you need to score your ultimate victory
over the real Joker: get Batman to become your archnemesis. See, there’s nothing the Joker hates more
than having the spotlight stolen from him- unless that’s having the spotlight stolen
by someone that is treading on his signature style. In the DC universe nobody’s been crazy enough
to pretend to be the Joker, which is why he’ll never see it coming. And once you convince Batman that you’re the
real Joker and the Joker is the impostor, it’s going to emotionally devastate the real
Joker. He may not have much of an identity, but what
little identity he does have is completely tied up with Batman as his archnemesis. If anybody took that away from him, there’s
no telling what the Joker might do- but given his massive ego, we’re willing to bet he’d
be willing to call it quits on his whole feud thing if you just agree to go back to being
your regular dumb self and leave his life alone. Or, he might just squirt you in the face with
a lapel flower that shoots acid when you meet up to talk peace terms. In all honesty, we’re not really sure how
to defeat the Joker, because if every major DC superhero has failed at it, we don’t see
how we’d do much better. But stealing his identity is probably a really
good way to make him murderously mad. How would you defeat the Joker? What other villain or hero do you want to
see us put you up against? Let us know on our website and the comments,
and if you enjoyed this video then check out Pennywise vs Joker- who would win! And as always don’t forget to Like, Share,
and Subscribe for more great content!

Comments 100

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *