YOU vs KYLO REN – How Can You Defeat and Survive Him (Disney Star Wars Movies)

You’re on break from college, and decide that
now is the perfect time to get some on-the-job experience. Your uncle has a friend who has a friend that’s
got a great entry-level position for you in an exciting up and coming company, and you
jump on the opportunity. Next thing you know, you’re training to be
a radar technician aboard Starkiller Base, and as part of your orientation you have to
undergo a two hour class on how this is totally not the Death Star, or the Death Star 2.0,
but something completely brand new and unique. Your on the job training is going well though,
even if you almost accidentally kill some Admiral or something. Then one day you’re hanging with your new
First Order buddies, who keep referring to their ‘Supreme Leader’ in a totally not weird
North Korean-y way. You bring up the fact that everything around
you just seems so… derivative and unoriginal, but shrug it off. Maybe you just can’t get over how badass Darth
Vader was, you say out loud- now there was the total evil ruler package. Then you hear it- the unmistakeable sound
of a lightsaber with a totally-not-stupid cross hilt being fired up. You turn to look over your shoulder and standing
in the hallway before you is the tall, slightly gangly form of Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader
of the First Order. He asks how you dare compare him to Darth
Vader, only you can barely understand the question because through that thick mask you
really can’t tell what he’s saying from further than like, five feet away. With a heavy sigh he removes his mask, and
you instantly wish he’d put it back on because now you can understand him better but his
voice just sounds all whiny and moody. Angered at your insolence, Kylo Ren raises
his totally-awesome-and-not-dumb lightsaber and points it at you- you’ve done it, you’ve
angered one of the universe’s most powerful dark jedis, whom you’re polite enough not
to mention gets his butt kicked by a girl who hasn’t even had formal jedi training. How are you going to survive this duel to
the death? They say that talent skips a generation, unless
you’re a member of the Skywalker clan. In that case it’s apparently only evil that
skips a generation. Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo as he was originally
known, represented the balance between the light and dark side, though ultimately he
would fall to the dark side because George Lucas is completely original and never recycles
old ideas into new, shinier packaging. Or was it Disney this time? Maybe J.J. Abrams? We’ll just have to leave that question for
another video. Anakin Skywa- we mean Ben Solo- was born on
the day that The New Order- we mean, the Galactic Empire- surrendered to the New Republic. This victory was of course achieved by a single
member of the Resistance exploiting a lone vulnerability in the Starkiller Base- umm
we mean, the Death Star- right as it was preparing to fire. They say history doesn’t repeat itself,
it only rhymes, but in the Star Wars universe it seems like they consider “cat” to rhyme
with “cat.” Born to Han Solo and Leia Organa- Luke Skywalker’s
sister- Ben Solo was born with an incredibly high midichlorian count and showed an incredible
aptitude for the Force from a young age. If like us, you do your best to blot out Star
Wars Episode I and a six year old Anakin Skywalker from your memory, midichlorians are basically
space herpes that gives you superpowers, unlike regular old herpes which just gives you sadness. Impressed by his aptitude for the Force, Solo’s
uncle, Luke Skywalker, took him under his wing as he raised a new Jedi Order from the
ashes of the old. Given Ben Solo’s predisposition for moody,
early 2000’s emo bands such as A Fire Inside and My Chemical Romance though, Luke sensed
a troubling lameness and darkness growing within his nephew when he was a young man
and his father took him into the city to see a marching band. Getting a premonition that his young nephew
would rise up one day and destroy everything he had built, Luke, acting in a moment of
instinct, raised his lightsaber to cut his nephew down in his sleep. Because no member of the Skywalker family
with a powerful connection to the Force had ever done anything bad to the Jedi Order in
the past though, Luke stopped himself at the last moment- though not before Ben Solo woke
up and found his uncle creepily watching him sleep with a lightsaber aimed at his chest. Solo destroys Luke’s temple in anger and buries
the new Jedi Order along with it, turning to the dark side and joining with his master
Darth Sidio- we mean, Snoke- and adopting his new, black masked persona of Darth Va-
we mean, Kylo Ren. From there, Ren sets into motion a plan to
conquer all of the galaxy as the Supreme Dear Leader of the First Order. Despite his allegiance to the Dark Side, Ren’s
nature wavers between the Light and the Dark- he is after all the culmination of two separate
lineages, the greatest of the Sith Lords and Jedi Knights alike. This leaves Ren extremely troubled inside,
though he secures a step closer to the Dark Side when he manages to kill his father, Han
Solo, by running him through with his lightsaber. Later he goes on to confront a rogue stormtrooper
and manages to get bested in combat by an untrained dumpster diver who is also talented
in the use of the force. Eventually Ren joins forces with the galactic
dumpster diver and together they defeat Ren’s mentor, Snoke. The dumpster diver, now on her way to becoming
a Jedi Knight herself, senses the good that’s still in Ren, and implores him to join her
on the light side. Unbeknownst to her though, Ren used her to
fulfill the ancient Sith Rule of Two, and take Snoke’s place as the most powerful dark
Jedi and super, Supreme Leader. Ren would eventually track Luke Skywalker
down, and lead a massive assault to rush the Resistance once and for all. In a one on one fight, Ren told Luke that
after he struck him down he would have finally killed all Jedi, but as he moved in for the
killing blow it was revealed that Luke was projecting his image all the way from another
planet, buying time for the Resistance survivors to escape. So now that you know your enemy, what exactly
can Kylo Ren do, and what should you be expecting in a one on one fight? Ren may be a moody brat, but that’s not entirely
his fault. Snoke, sensing the great potential for both
light and dark inside him, purposely set his apprentice ablaze with emotional conflict. This made Ren a rather unique Jedi, as his
great emotional conflict caused the Force to burst out of him in uncontrollable outbursts
of power. Ren is an extremely powerful Jedi, and yet
he is also extremely fragile- a fact that Snoke no doubt knew. In the end, it’s likely that Ren’s father,
Han Solo, was right when he warned that Snoke would use him until he was no longer useful,
and then he would discard him. Without discipline, Ren may be powerful but
ultimately would be overcome by his own powers. This still leaves Ren with a formidable mastery
of the Force, which includes various telekinetic attacks and defenses. He is even able to freeze a laser blast in
mid-air, and then release it at a later time. When he defended himself from his uncle’s
midnight visit, he brought down the roof of the hut he was sleeping on Luke’s head, requiring
a great deal of telekinetic might. He is also able to freeze opponents in place,
and even force them to move their bodies as he wished. Ren is not just a master of body though, he
is a master of mind as well, and has powerful telepathic abilities. He is able to telepathically probe a person’s
mind to dig out their greatest secrets, a handy trick for use in interrogations. If the subject resists, he can simply torture
them psychologically until they relent. He is also able to knock people unconscious
with the wave of a hand. Lastly, as the son of the legendary Han Solo,
Ren is an exceptional pilot. So how are you going to defeat one of the
galaxy’s most powerful Jedis? For once, you’re going to forget about fighting
Ren physically, because unlike Rey you’re not a main character who’s important to the
plot and you’ll die instantly. With the ability to crush your throat from
a distance with the Force, or simply slice you into ribbons with his lightsaber, you
stand literally no chance. We thought carefully about this though, and
originally had ideas on using some high explosives against the dark Jedi knight, until we saw
the scene where he stopped a blaster bolt in mid-air with his mind. The amount of energy required to stop concentrated
photons in their tracks and keep them there is astronomical- literally- and we thought
that in this case, explosives are probably going to not get you very far. Instead of fighting Ren with your hands, you’re
going to fight him with your mind. Remember who you’re dealing with here- a force-sensitive
who’s torn between the light and dark side, murdered his own father, and even though it’s
2019 hasn’t yet heard that the emo scene is so, like totally dead. You don’t have to defeat Ren, you just have
to let him defeat himself. First, maybe bring up some happy memories
of you and your dad, because if anyone’s got some serious daddy issues it’s the guy in
the black mask who murdered his own father in a failed attempt to connect fully with
the dark side. Seriously, just tell Ren about some great
father-and-son memories you have from your own life, maybe the big fishing and camping
trip you took when you were ten. Or about the time you did the Kessel Run together
using a measurement of time and not distance. Really just about any sappy father-son story
is going to set Kylo on the edge, and likely get him really, really angry- but also super
mopey and depressed. Right around this time he’s probably going
to start going all Kyle-with-stepdad-issues and smash his surroundings with his lightsaber
in a giant tizzy fit. The master stroke though will come when you
introduce Ren to your new girlfriend- who’s that, you may ask? Oh nobody, just a local dumpster diver named
Rey you happened to meet. Seriously, Ren can pretend that all he wants
Rey for is an apprentice, but he’s not fooling anyone- he’s got the super hots for her and
it’s clear as day. Listen, Rey’s probably not going to be into
it, since you know, she’s training to be a Jedi now- but if you tell her about your plan
to defeat Ren once and for all odds are pretty high that she’s agree to a few instagram kissy
face pics. Really, that’s all you’ll need, because Ren’s
about as unhinged as a dollar store screen door after a hurricane. At this point all of Ren’s emo-fueled rage
is going to get the best of him, and he’ll probably end up a sobbing mess on the floor
to be honest. If he’s not defeated yet at the sight of you
and Rey making kissy faces at each other on instagram, then just pop in a My Chemical
Romance CD and give him some private space as he breaks down into angry crying. If you liked this video and want to see more,
and we know that you you did! Then click on this video which is just as
funny and even more entertaining OR this video which is also humorous and engaging! (VO NOTE – In a Jedi Mind Trick voice) You
will choose one though. You will click the video and watch it and
enjoy it. See you next time!

Comments 100

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *