Which of The “Friends” Are You? | Bad Internet


– One, two, three, four. B-L-U-E. – And then he stepped backwards, and he squashed a slug with is
bare foot, and it just like exploded
everywhere! It was so cool. – So gross. I’m trying to eat breakfast. – No you’re not. You’re just staring at it. What are you, nervous? – No, I’m not! Jeez, you’re such a brat. – [Boy] Mom, can I have Sarah’s
milkshake? She’s not hungry. – I remember the day I got
sorted. I didn’t sleep a wink, and I only managed half a shake before I threw-up everywhere. – Did you know? You know, where you’d be placed? – Well, no, I wasn’t sure. But then I wasn’t surprised,
either! The quiz is very accurate. – I wish I knew what was on it. – Well if you knew, it
wouldn’t be fair, now would it? – You nervous? God, I was. I only managed half a shake
before I puked everywhere. That’s what makes us Monica’s I
guess. Very highly strung. – I can’t believe our
little girl’s finally going to find out which of the
friends from ‘Friends’ she is? – I’ve got a pretty good guess. – Yeah, everyone knows
she’s gonna be a Gunther! – Oliver, take that back! – I’m just kidding. – We’ll be there for you, kiddo, however you get sorted. – ‘Cause you’re there for us
too. That’s how it works! (laughter) (suspenseful music) (chatter) – I’ll be there for you, Sarah. – I’ll be there for you, Alex. – Have you studied? Man, I don’t know what I’d
do if I hadn’t studied. – Everyone knows you
can’t study, you liar. Aren’t you nervous? – Are you kidding me? Could I be any more of a Phoebe? – Can you stop messing around? The Rachel is coming. – You are such a Ross. (squeaking) (door squeaks) (choir sings ‘Friends’ theme
song) ♪I’ll be there for you ♪When the rain start to fall ♪I’ll be there for you ♪Like I’ve been there before ♪I’ll be there for you ♪Because you’re there for me
too ♪Which of the friends are you♪ – I’ll be there for you. – [Audience] I’ll be there for
you. – For many years, our society lived in conflict
and strife. Life was hard. Our jobs were a joke. We were broke, and a nuclear holocaust
wiped out most of humanity. But, we finally came to
the fundamental truth. That every member of society fits snugly into one of six
types. The Monica’s. Practical and nurturing. The Ross’s. Scientific, yet lovable. The Phoebe’s. Such creative forces. The Chandler’s. Oh, just the funniest. The Joey’s. – How you doin’? (laughter) – Loyal and charming. And of course, the Rachel’s. Natural born leaders,
with a flare for fashion. They were all so different, but they somehow all
worked so well together, despite their differences, because they were friends. (synchronized clapping) Today is a very special day, when our bright, young people
are given their futures. So, let us begin, shall we? Gunther’s, please prepare the
quiz. – Anything for you, the Rachel. Okay, you know what? That’s gross. Please, just do your job. (typing on computer) (suspenseful music) (laughter) – Alex Andrews. (suspenseful music) (clicking computer mouse) (applause) – Knew it! Come here, buddy. Here’s your bowler shirt. – [Rachel] Winston Banks. (suspenseful music) (clicking computer mouse) (applause) – How you doin’? – Yeah, welcome brother! – Sarah Brand. (suspenseful music) (clicking computer mouse) – Carrie? – Who’s Carrie? – I have no idea what– – Friends! Friends! Let’s just take a brief
adjournment while the leader of the six
houses discuss this minor
technical hiccup, shall we? Miss Brand, go with me. – Oh, okay. (suspenseful music) – We are on a break! (audience murmur) – So can I still go, or what? I just like taking tests. – [Audience] You’re such a Ross! – There must be a glitch in the
system! The system is fool-proof. The Ross’s have gone over
the quiz time and time. – What if she picked a set of
answers that no one’s ever picked
before? – Okay. That’s about as likely as a
Gunther ending up with a Rachel. Am I right? – She could be a Carrie, why
not? – A ‘Sex and the City’ character
in the ‘Friends’ universe? They’re two totally different
New Yorks! – We had a ‘Mad About You’
crossover. – This is not ‘Mad About You!’ Okay, now our entire system of
government is predicated on people knowing which one of the friends
from ‘Friends’ they are! Do you guys wanna go back
to when times were bad? Huh? When we weren’t there for each
other? When the rain started to fall. Is that what you want? Because that’s what you’re, don’t touch me! – Yeah, if we let her be a
Carrie, we might as well tell everyone
about the other quizzes. – There are other quizzes? – Ross and Rachel, just because you guys are each other’s
lobsters, you think you can walk
all over the rest of us. – Yeah, this is supposed
to be an ensemble, and if anyone knows that, it’s
us Joey’s! I mean, we just don’t work on
our own. God knows we tried. – Why don’t we just make
her a stupid Gunther, and be done with it, okay? (arguing) – Excuse me! There are other quizzes? (suspenseful music) (Ross laughs) – If there were other quizzes, they would be meaningless, not even worth mentioning– (gasps) – Seize her! Hello, Gunther’s, I’m talking to
you. Seize her! (suspenseful music) (Sarah gasps) – [Gunther] Alright, you two go
that way. You, come with me. (door slams) – Come with me if you want to
live. – Wait, aren’t you the
downstairs neighbor who was complaining about
all the noise from ‘Friends?’ – Used to be. Not anymore. Now I’m the Rock. Welcome to the resistance. – The Rock, really? – You wanna see it? – I mean, you know it’s just you
made a ‘Terminator’ reference
earlier, so I figured you’d be
Schwarzenegger or something. – Come with me. There are some people I want you
to meet. (whimsical music) (Sarah gasps) – But, you’re all, how? – We all took the ‘Which Friend
from Friends Are You’ quiz. First, we lived as everyone else
did, with a tiny voice in our head saying something wasn’t right. Until we realized our true
selves. – I used to be a Ross, it
seems so ridiculous now. We don’t know how you did
it Sarah, but you beat it. You beat the quiz. It’s a miracle. – But how do you know
you were who you are? – It’s a Motorola. – Got mine at Radio Shack. – We’re helping the people we
can, it’s just that there’s so few
of these quiz machines left. It’s a painfully slow process. It’s also a pain in the ass. – We’ve been trying to find
a way to do it manually, but we haven’t been able
to figure anything out. – Does anyone have a notepad
and some colored markers? (suspenseful music) – Well it’s seems this little
Monica’s upstart daughter has ideas above her station. Well, there’s only one form of
punishment fit for this kind of treachery. But, it seems Sarah is hiding
away. Well, it seems almost unfair
that no one should suffer. Bring out the turkey of shame! – Sarah, save yourself! I’ll always be there for you! – Sarah, you have the power to
end this! Just bring back the laptop, and everything will go back to
normal. (buzzing) – Citizens of New York,
California, our leaders have been
keeping something from us. Something we all deserve to
know. There are more quizzes! (suspenseful music) – Don’t listen to her! She’s, she’s stuck in second
gear. – On my mark, get ready
to drop your truth bombs. Mark! (suspenseful music) – [Rachel] What is it? What are those? (suspenseful music) – It’s the other quizzes. – Don’t look at those! Don’t look at these! No, don’t look at those! (suspenseful music) – Oh my God, I’m a Frasier! I’m a Frasier! – I’m a Posh Spice. I always felt it, but now I
know. – Yeah, I’m definitely still a
Ross. (suspenseful music) (heavy breathing) – Oh! – Why are you doing this, Sarah? I thought you were my lobster. – I might be your lobster,
but you’re not my Mr. Big. – Can I at least be your Peeta? – No, you’re my Gale. I love you, but we’re just
not destined to be together. – Oh, spoiler alert! (suspenseful music) – No, please! Please, I’ll give you anything. I’ll give you my Central Perk
apron. I’ll give you my Calvin Klein
jeans. I’ll give you my hair
straighteners. Please, I just don’t want to
die! – Do I look like I need
hair straighteners? (slicing) (gasps) – We are not friends anymore! (cheers) (‘Sex and the City’ theme music) – And so, as the world as we
knew it stood in ashes around us, I asked myself some fundamental
questions. If anyone can be anything, does knowing what you
are still have worth? Does friendship mean anything
if you’re forced into it? And, would I look cute as a
blonde? (‘Sex and the City’ theme music) (record scratches) ♪So no one told us life
was going be this way ♪Work is a bore, we’re
poor, the world is in dismay ♪Seems like we’re always
stuck in second gear ♪When it has not been our
day, our week, our month ♪Or even our year ♪Which of the friends are you♪ (glass shattering) (ringing)

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