Queen Elizabeth I: “Boyfriends Are Trouble” | SUNG HISTORY


My story starts like many, little princess all alone… My dad broke up the family with no son to pass the throne. We warred for years through blood and tears. Rulers came and went. But when that crown finally reached my head, I declared it heaven sent! My one prescription for success: keep a country running smooth! Listen up my single ladies, ‘cause I’m talking to you! Boyfriends are trouble! Husbands are a headaches! Look at the history. There’s nothing as bad a king for maintaining a monarchy! Spouses are hassles! Partners are problems! Who needs a crush? Nobody! Spent 44 years on the throne saying, “it’s not you, it’s me!” Instead of starting countless wars, like kings are known to do, I put that money towards the arts got a Shakespeare or two! I’m married to my country, my subjects, and my job. Why would I need one more husband? No matter the heartthrob! Though sometimes wandering through the court I’ll catch a handsome smile… Sir Robert Dudley, sweet and cuddly, like his Knightly style. It might be nice, have his advice, and share this heavy crown… No thanks! It fits just fine on one, don’t need no king around!! Boyfriends are trouble! Husbands are a headaches! Look at the history. There’s nothing as bad a king for maintaining a monarchy! Spouses are hassles! Partners are problems! Who needs a crush? Nobody! I spent 44 years on the throne saying, “it’s not you, it’s me!” “it’s not you, it’s me!” “it’s not you…” “it’s me!!”

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