OUR EMBARRASSING SEARCH HISTORY with Grace Helbig & Mamrie Hart


Another most-googled a question around love is, “What is an open relationship?” [deep voice] Oh, wow. Well hi there, everybody! Welcome back! I am Mamrie. And I’m Grace and today we are talking about something that is very precious and private. It’s your search history. Woof. Yeah. Terrifying. Yeah, why is that? That’s, like, your place you’re most vulnerable. Your phone is more personal than like, a diary. Yeah. It’s I guess where you’re admitting that you don’t know something. Or what you’re interested in that’s a little embarrassing. Yeah, ’cause there’s that, I think, very universal, like, crippling panic when someone goes, “Can I borrow your phone?” Fight or flight.
– Yeah. Like I immediately go, “What’s on there?” “How do I leave the country?” “Am I OK abandoning everyone that’s important in my life?” “How do I start a new life?” “How quickly can I get a witness protection passport?” Do you have your phone handy? Oh, I do. Do you want to see… I’m gonna see, like, what pages I have up on Safari and I have not checked this yet. Oh, I have Sky Lodge Adventure Suites up. I was looking at this crazy hotel in Peru this morning. I have four pages up.
– OK. One of them is discovering a local taco night. I have two GIFs of myself. And I just looked up Chinese crested dogs, and it’s just Google images of Chinese crested dogs. Grace: Well my last Google search is “Richard Simmons’s foot gets ran over by car.” That’s a great video. Richard Simmons is leaving a workout, and he’s paparazzi’d on camera in a parking lot, and literally a car runs over his foot while he’s saying goodbye to people, and he has a very Richard Simmons reaction to it. I don’t want to spoil it. He’s very polite about it. But here’s the deal. We’re not the only people, obviously, that are protective over our search histories, or that have a very colorful [boing noise] search history There’s a lot of questions that get asked out there. In fact, we found some of the most-commonly-googled questions, and we figured you guys don’t have to google these anymore. No, we’ll give you all the answers. We have all of the answers And we’re gonna answer them for you right now. But first, this is funny. Here’s a fun fact on here. In 1996, Google was originally named BackRub. What?! Grace: I had no idea. I think this isn’t false information. Is that true?
A crew member: It’s true. Was it r… how do… how does no one know that? ‘Cause it’s gross and pervy? BackRub?! Let me BackRub the answer for you. Ewww! We found some of your most-googled questions, and we thought we’d give you our obvious answers. Here are some of the love-related most-googled questions. The first one is, “How to make long-distance relationships work.” Someone goo… That’s a commonly-googled question? This is the most love-related search question in 2017. Oh my gosh. That’s… I don’t know, that like, That, like, breaks my heart. Also, because of the rise in popularity of that show “Catfish,” I feel like everyone’s a little on guard about long-distance relationships. You know what I say. Don’t be googling that question. Google some cheap flights. Make it work. You need in-person time. Yeah, there you go. Another most-googled question around love is, “What is an open relationship?” [deep voice] Oh, wow. You know, you know, what is actually being googled? “Am I being cheated on and should I just, like, be OK with it?” Or… [laughter] Or “Am I cheating on the person I’m with?” Oh, good call. Like, “How do I rationalize this, like, modern take on this relationship when my girlfriend finds out.” I’m not a perv. I’m just progressive. That’s my “Real Housewives” tag line. I’m not a perv. I’m progressive. Oh, here’s a general one. The fourth-most-googled question is “How to tie a tie.” [high-pitched] Oh! Grace: Do you know how to tie a tie? No idea! I know how to tie a tie. Prove it! Well, I don’t know if I remember. I worked at Olive Garden. [screech] Oh! I have worked at an establishment with a tie, and it was a seafood restaurant. You’d come drink in my bar. And so it was a tie with crabs all over it. So which is really fun to be a female bartender and wearing something with crabs on it. I never got jokes. [one person laughing off-camera] Grace: All right. [snort] Grace: There. Look, this is… Oh, wow! I blanked out for a second I was blinded by rage, and then you made a tie! This is not the right way to tie a tie. That’s pretty good, though. You can fake it enough. You can manipulate it enough. You look like a teen emo kid. Who was raised by a single mother. I look like a really [bleep] Avril Lavigne cosplay right now. I think you look kind of cool. Thank you! This is my also, like, Hermione cosplay. Lots of worlds. I mean, people are gonna be BackRubbing pics of this all day. Grace: Ewww! You brought it upon yourself! There’s two very, very different, but very searched questions. One is, “How to kiss a girl” What?! And another one is, “Why is my poop green?” Humans, you guys, we all have the same problems. Wow! “How to kiss a girl”? “How to kiss a girl” and “Why is my poop green?” OK, “What to do when you’re bored” is the 135th-most-asked question. These are things I think you have answers to, though.
– Yeah! What to do when you’re bored. I think that’s a fair… I guess go look at your weird poop. OK, but here’s one that actually we can *actually* help you out with. You don’t have to google it. We have the answer for you right here. It’s the third-most overall search question.
– OK. “How to register to vote.” Oh! It’s easy! rockthevote.org. Wherever you want to go. We’ll put some links below, because I need you youngsters votin’! You gotta get out there and do it. I’m actually glad that people are looking up how to do it. That’s actually a little, like, inspiring. But we have all the links for you down in the description box below. This wasn’t just a weird way to… You telling people to vote while you’re wearing that tie makes it seem like you’re running for class president And there’ll be soda in the water fountain! Grace: Mamrie, who do we have a gratitude problem with today? Well today, we got a real problem with naqs_st. She did this adorable drawing and said, “I felt like drawing, so I thought it may as well make it for Grace and Mamrie’s new show, which I’m really enjoying btw.” Aww, thank you for the very genuinely-supportive comment! And this beautiful, beautiful piece of art. If you want to be featured in an upcoming segment of Gratitude Problem, tag us in Instagram photos, videos, Twitter comments, songs, dances, anything that you want that is genuinely supportive of the show. Yeah! We want complements! And also we want you to subscribe. So hit the button, turn on your notifications, and keep watching us every day Monday through Friday. We’ll be right here. [crack] The only dependable thing in your life

Comments 100

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *