My Google Search History


Hey guys! So when I was trying to link my Youtube to my Google Plus without destroying the universe, I discovered the Google Web History feature. Yes, this is as terrifying as it sounds. It is a record of every Google search I’ve ever made in the last three years. *sinister music* So I thought it would be fun to take a look at some of the things I’ve searched for. Not, er everything – but the things I feel comfortable sharing with the Internet. Also, I asked some of you guys to throw some random dates at me on Facebook, so let’s do this! ‘Strange smell in nose after a cold’ Don’t think I will work out what that was. ‘How to pronounce macaroon’ ‘Legolas’ ‘Legolas’s eyes’ ‘Zayn Perrie tattoo’ ‘Rylan Clarke’ ‘the world’s most pancakes’ ‘Bruce Willis’ ‘Lady Gaga square head’ ‘final destination style accidents’ It’s obviously a…funny thing I was having then. ‘AmazingPhil spiky hair’ ‘Sarah Michelle Gellar’ Haha that’s a surprise. ‘Spider gif’ ‘Rhino penis’ ‘Auditions for Star Wars’ I was gonna audition but then I thought I would just ruin everyone else’s chances. *Star Wars sound effect* ‘Ben from A1’ ‘Attack on Titan’ ‘SACRIFICIAL POOL’ Alright it’s 3:20 in the morning Phil, what’re you searching for. ‘Toilet’ ‘Japan toilet’ ‘Japan toilet advert’ ‘anime toilet’ ‘cartoon toilet’ ‘funny toilet’ and there ends the odyssey of the toilet. Oh, then later in the night: ‘Justin Bieber’ ‘Justin Bieber hair’ ‘Justin Bieber girl’ ‘Capybara wallpaper’, which I still have to this day. Look how organised my desktop is. ‘differences between euphemism and inneuendo’ ‘squid beak’ Still one of the things that terrifies me most in the world. Why do they have beaks? ‘demon child’ ‘Grace Helbig’ Uh sorry Grace, I don’t know why I was stalking you. ‘Jennifer Lawerence’ ‘Godzilla’ ‘normal tonsils’ ‘tonsils’ ‘strange tonsils’ I am such a hypochondriac. Whenever I am slightly ?, I will go straight to Google and search like ‘lumps and tonsils’, and Google is never helpful. Cause it’s always just like ‘you are going to die of ultra-plague.’ ‘Pokemon teeth’ ‘Pokemon tail teeth’ ‘I don’t like jellybabies’ Okay. I got something to admit. I don’t like jelly babies. I was just looking on the Internet for someone else that didn’t like jelly babies so I wouldn’t feel so alone. ‘what is jerk chicken’ On October 10, I searched for nose sock. Yeah I had a really cold nose, then I am just like ‘if only there were socks for noses’. Maybe there are socks for noses. ‘Where does Harry Styles live?’ I think I was unleashing my inner fangirl on that day. Okay. Let’s look at some specific dates and I will take you on the journey of my searches. Alright. August 11: ’12 course meal in a can’ ’20 foods in a can’ ’12 foods in a can’ ‘tin can food’ ‘feces’ What? ‘jetlag’ ‘desynchronosis’ ‘plane’ ‘sexy male torso’ ‘England’ I think I was trying to find images for a video then. Okay, the next day. ‘Breed sausage dog with husky’ I was trying to make the ultimate dog. I remember that. ‘Jesus themed keyboard’ ‘drawing butts on the sand’ What? I searched for the 2013 Glee calendar. Why… why would I search for that? Okay. That one I do not remember searching for. Followed by ‘how to clean suede’. I just… I don’t wanna know Phil. I do not want to know. And finally February 21, the question that I am sure many of you have googled in the past: ‘how do narwhals breed?’ I will let you go find that one out for yourself. Okay. I think I need to stop saving those cause I am terrified of myself, but I hope you enjoy that little window into my mind. Yes. Also, it’s now December, so you are officially allowed to be excited for Christmas. Christmas dance. *Deck the Halls music* Also, look at what I bought. You are not even ready for this. It’s the tiniest tree in the world! (in a high-pitched voice) Look how cool this is! It makes my voice go high cause I like it so much. So I think it’s my duty to decorate this. Let’s start with some lights. They’re all tangled. *Deck the Halls music* Da da! Aye! Ah it looks so cool with the light off. I will get some baubles next week and you will be complete. There we go. Also, exciting news for people in the UK or Europe, as the official Dan and Phil Shop has now launched, *children cheering* with limited edition hand signed posters and t-shirts. My hand almost fell off from signing all the posters. Here’s a little clip of the signing. Look how intense I look. They are limited so make sure you order soon if you want one for Chrristmass. Look how cool they are! And if you are from the US or the rest of the world, the District Lines store has loads of cool stuff as well, so check those out. All the links are below! Today’s ‘Draw Phil Naked’ is: Goodbyeee~ Don’t eat the tree. Okay. *Snazzy music*

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