Mad Max: Fury Road – Nostalgia Critic


Mad Max fury road this movie was incredible There are movies, and then there’s Fury Road It kicked our asses so much, it kicked our mom’s asses No other film will be better than Fury Road I was sitting in the theater like this. AWWWWWW! Fury Road is the greatest film ever and I haven’t even seen it yet OH MY GOD! This is the greatest movie I’ve seen in my life This is everything you want and more Go. Watch. See this movie My name is critic And my world is Mad Max. As the internet went more bat shit crazy for fury Road It was hard to tell who was more Bat shit crazy Me or everyone else? Yes, I am the one who runs from both the fanboys and the haters I mean, it’s good really good, but is it the masterpiece everyone praises? Hell, I have to be careful. Even just thinking that can piss off some extreme fanboys out there . . . Oh boy. . . What’s this we here about you hating Fury Road? I never said I hated it. I thought it was good. GOOD? Don’t you know that’s the same as saying it’s bad? Just thought it was short on story and not very practical GASP! Did you hear that In-practical Joe? It is not above the logical necessity, But the excuse to display the amazingly Action-Packed awesomely awesomeness. We even have a station running 24 hour Mad Max Imagery so that the people can see how superior Fury Road is. Honestly, I think Thunder Dome was the best one. DAH! Mediocre! Destroy him my fanboys! Destroy all of his mediocrity! Pitch Perfect 2 beats Mad Max at the box office. AHHHHHHHH! Anna Kendrick is so over rated. Stop him! Nobody likes Thunder Dome the best in My cave,, house, thingy. You can’t beat Fury Road Raggedy Man. Even Master Blaster thinks it’s better. Fury Road better! Thunder Dome weak! Fury Road better! Thunder Dome weak! DAAHHHHHHHH! Drive! Worst braces ever. Just drive! Says who? My foot! Treason! Betrayal! An enjoy-er of Thunder Dome! Ride my beloved fanboys. Show them a world of excessive testosterone. DAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Watch it! You watch it! You’r with me. AHHHHHHH! Here. apply a never fully explained silver chrome. Tihs isn’t chrome, it’s cake glaze. Oh, what a glaze. What a lovely glaze! Yeah, that’s one we’re going with. Blow me. Hang on! Does Tom Hardy always have to wear shit on his face? Aah! fucking Fury Road What you didn’t like it? No, I did like it. It was good action, and it was a great rush. But, why does that make a masterpiece? Oh, so you’re one of those first two films people. Actually, I liked Thunder Dome the best. Did Tina Turner’s popularity drop recently? Sorry, but nobody likes Thunder Dome the best. What is with everybody’s hatred of Thunder Dome? We’ll just sit here until you take it back. What’s your name? Curiosa. Curiosa, aren’t you “Curious” how I can like Thunder Dome more than the other films, even Fury Road Just keep driving, and I’ll explain. well . . . Mad Max never hit number one at the box office. Dah! Fine. We’re running low on fuel. Boost the engine with some intense fast motion stairs. AHHHHHHHHHHH! Hey, wait a minute. Okay, so we know the Mad Max movies take place in an apocalyptic future where ex-cop Max loses his family. In Fury Road, he saves the abuse wives of a religious dictator who controls on the water. It also gives us, arguably, some of the best action in movie history. Right. But does that and an adrenaline rush equal a great film? you do have a penis don’t you? Okay, but on 96% rotten tomatoes great? Oh. God 96% that’s awesome Yeah, until you realize that according to the critics, that technically means. It’s better than pulp fiction, Fargo, Jurassic Park, Exorcist, Die Hard, Hunt for Red October, Terminator 2, And every, Indiana Jones movie . really? I think people got so hyped up on the adrenaline that they forgot It’s just a simple Chase movie. And what makes your precious Thunder Dome less mediocre? Because the chase is only the climax. The rest is character, story and unforgettable lines. Who said the first two films didn’t have memorable lines? Name one right now Oh, what a lovely . . . That’s Fury Road Witness me. Fury Road Hmm, let me see. It’s Fury Road isn’t it. Yes it is. Now, quote some lines from thunderdome. Oh, I know. raggedy man. Who Runs Bartertown? Master-Blaster. Two men enter, one man leaves Exactly, you remember it more because it was more engaging. It broke up the action with good writing and twists and turns It was just better storytelling. Hey, just because we don’t have a lot of “talking” doesn’t mean we’re not telling our story. We’re telling our story through strong visuals and through strong acting. Oh, come on. The acting is good, but . . . Tell me what I’m thinking by just looking at my stairs. You’re on a mission, and you’re not gonna fail. Right, and this one? sigh. You’re afraid what’s gonna happen to the hoes just swore to protect. You got it, and this one? JESUS! AHHHHHHHH! Get back here, you fucking nut! Crap! Hand me another exploding stick! We have a big bazooka? Explodig stick! AAAHHHHHHH! Under the seat, under the seat. AHHH! I can’t find it. Look in the box that says “Exploding sticks”. I never learned how to read! They’re gaining on us! no. I was doing remourse. No. I mean they’re gaining on us! Yeah. What the hell is that? Oh? That’s weird ass guitar guy. No, I mean who is he? where does he come from? Why is he have a Blindfold on? I don’t know. I don’t know and because he has so much testosterone that his eyes shoot shark-shaped explosions. Okay, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. As fucking awesome as that is, nothing about it is explained Who are the people on the stilts in the swamp? What is the basis behind this crazy cult religion? Who are the people he hallucinates about? His family, people he let die or are they just hallucinations? None of this has ever talked about It doesn’t need to be talked about. Here. Will you watch the fucking road? Weird Ass Guitar Guy! Unleash your blinded rage! Are those dinosaur missiles? RUHR! So a lazy film gives you a blank page. Something you’ve seen a million times. and film trying too hard gives you too much so you can’t make it out? Fury Road doesn’t give you all the information, but it lets you see it for what it is. It allows you to become more engaged because you can you connect all the dots. Like how I’m not quite connecting how these fucking dinosaur missiles flying at me just seems like something this crazy ass world would create? Exactly, just because there’s no details doesn’t mean there’s no answers. Ow. Speaking of answers how the hell is he constantly missing Us? How the Hell are you constantly missing them? What are you blind? Folded Well then sniff them out and send them to Valhalla or Whatever the hell, we believe in Oh, crap. What is it? It’s more enemies to keep the energy hide? Why’s that bad? I thought you loved that there menanists. Can you believe they gave a gun to a chick in this movie? Tell me about it. I’m man tweeting right now to let the internet know my disgust. That’s the manly thing to do. Hell Yeah! They act like they’re being discriminated against when a woman wants to do something that a man does. We have that it was called the 40s. Well. They’re not very good at growing up. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Well, it’s got to be better than our other friends here. More meninist? No Tom hardy fan girls EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! They’re women who think Tom hardy is the second coming of christ for some reason. Really I mean he’s a good actor, but who would go crazy over him? probably someone who spends their whole entire life obsessing over fan bases. Hey Critic! Punch Line? I mean Hyper? I found a new calling Critic. converting everyone to the miracle of Tom hardy. Oh praise He. Well, I’m glad you found something more sensible. It’s about time the world saw an incredible talent he is. And you don’t think any of that stems from mere physical attraction? No, no, since he’s a feminist. It would be hypocritical to love him just for his looks. Well mark Ruffalo’s a feminist. NEEEAHHHH! Patrick Stewart’s a feminist. NEEEAHHH! He’s bald. Louis C K’s a feminist. NEEEAHHH! He’s even balder. but Tom loves dogs, The Tom loves dogs. Do you know hard it t is to find a man who likes dogs? Look, whatever your attraction, you can’t act like Tom hardy’s one of the best things in this movie. Don’t get me wrong. He does a fine job. He does just as well as Gibson, but for his minimal dialogue and mostly dubbed over lines That are strangely more obvious than when he did Bane, he’s serviceable at best. Which is really all what Max is supposed to be anyway. But the work of his body? I mean, the body of his work? Yeah! You tell those Femanazi’s Yeah. Max is barely in the film. He’s spent half the time letting some broad to all the fighting. yeah So, you’re saying what the rest of the world sees as the manliest movie ever made, you see as being too girly? Man Yeah! It’s a disgrace to everything that Mad Max stands for. yeah! Well, that’s Interesting, because there is a Mad Max movie where he appears even less in it and spends most of the time talking about his feelings. Really? which one? The original you fucking moron! In proportion of the running time, Mad Max appears less on-screen in the first film than he does in Fury Road. He doesn’t even do anything that violent until the final third. On top of that much, like every George Miller film, the least interesting character is always the main character. It’s the environment that always takes center stage. Max is merely the observer. It’s like saying you wanted more Alice in Alice in Wonderland. It’s just not how it works. yeah. But he’s working with a woman and even taking orders from her and Max never does that. Oh, you mean like in Thunder Dome when he specifically goes to a woman saying” I’m looking for a job.” “Please give me orders.” You actually liked Thunder Dome Look, imagine for a minute that Charlize Theron’s character wasn’t a woman. NEVER! We’re way too close-Minded for that. Well, let’s pretend that you pretended. Max used to have friends in the police force before he went rogue So the idea of him being able to work with someone again is actually kind of uplifting for Max’s character. He spend so much of the other movies just doing everything alone that to finally find someone to work by his side, you could argue gives a link back to his humanity. Actually, it brought something to the character that’s relatively new But that doesn’t coincide with the teachings of our one true leader. Oh, and who is your one true leader? Michael Bay, the Master of Action here. And now Critic, as we all know if you really wanted this to be a manly movie you make it at least three more hours long and the women should be draped across the cars, not driving them. That’s like me showing female military in the movie, you all know it’s never Gonna happen. And I can make out way too much what was going on. Clearly the cars should have been computer generated instead of the background. You had it the other way around. I Imagine you’re driving while those computer-generated cars now aren’t you? well yes I do, but why would you want to know . . . John. Autobots, transform AHHHHHH! Oh dear now. I’ll never see the flower show. What was that? I don’t know if I have a sudden need to compensate even more bring me the giant Swingy stick thing! I feel like our weaponry is to stick heavy. Stick me! AHHHHHHHHH! Hey, Skeletremor. I think I figured out a way to get on that car and BLOW them to smithereens Destroy the Mediocre critic and his mediocre mind and I myself will carry you into the premiere of the next Mad Max movie. Oh, you don’t need to do that. I just like killing stuff. You will walk the red carpet. Sugared and glazed. Now, out you go AHHHHHHHHH! Grossly Inadequate for the task at hand! UHG! They’re too far gone. I guess I shouldn’t have milked that slow mo shot But at least it gave the audience a chance to catch their breath. You good? great. Back to the action. Oh My God, are you Devil Boner? You’re like the manliest man got a men. yeah I am. But who are you? we’re menanists. We stand up for our right to be men. Hey, now that’s a cause I can get behind. Scoot over. So what manly thing to do? you play football or you build muscle? No, we make rent videos. What? I have two youtube subscribers. Of courses these guys. you So if Thunder Dome’s your favorite which one’s your least favorite? well, I love them all but if I have to answer the question, it used to be the first one. But now with Fury Road, it might be Road Warrior. Wow, those are the two that people likes the most. I mean, the comment section is already planning your death, But to Fury Roads credit, it kind of changed everything. Each movie had their own distinct feel. the first a low-budget exploitation film Thunder Dome low survival flick and Road Warrior a chase movie. But the problem is Fury Road is a chase movie too. They both focus on the action and stunts rather than twists and turns in the story because Fury Road is so much better. There’s barely a reason to even watch Road Warrior now. It just feels like a slower version of Fury Road, But it was the first one to give mad max its style. That is true. Road Warrior is considered by many to be the first “real” Mad Max movie in that it takes place in the desert and focuses more on the action-packed loner. The first one is a revenge story and even then not until the very end. Story wise and stylistically, it has the least amount to do with the others Actually, seeing as the movies are called mad Max and he never really seems that mad, maybe all the other movies are in his head. Actually, that kind of makes sense. I wrote a fanfiction about that. BANG Maybe he went nuts after his wife and kid died. In many respects the film’s do kind of keep repeating themselves. There’s always a tyrant. there’s always a group of people he doesn’t want to save but gets shoehorned into doing so. there’s often religious figures, gang culture pigs an old woman with a shotgun. A wild kid or kids and no places that look anything like the first movie. They even use the same actors in different roles. Truth be told it’s actually not that bad a theory. great. So does that mean you’ve accepted hardy as your one true Max? I’m sorry, but I still think Thunder Dome is better. Oh Really? With all the other films, you knew it was gonna be in the first few minutes. With Thunder Dome it kept you guessing. It changed up locations, it threw in new characters, and it wasn’t all one big chase. What the Hell was that? I think Impractical Joe is impractically using is impractical swinging sticks. You will walk the red carpet, sugared and glazed. You will walk the red carpet, sugared and glazed. You will walk the red carpet, sugared and glazed. Look, it’s raining men. Hallelujah. Popsicle! I’m out of fanboys to launch! JESUS FUCK! I’m not okay. Wonder if the menanists are having this much fun? And how dare George Miller have all the male penguins and Happy Feet stay with the kids. Yeah! While all the women penguins did all the hunting. Because that’s what penguins do! Well they should change that. Women ruin everything like in Mad Max. So it’s that’s all you guys do? You just sit around complain how you hate hot women you want see more shirtless buff man? Man! Yeah! Are you guys gay? I mean, it’s fine if you are, but you clearly got some anger issues you need to address. No, we’re we’re not anti-gay. No, no, no. We’re very fair in our hatred. Yeah, it’s just women we hate. Yeah! We’ve had hundreds of years of advantage and we’re not giving it up now. Let’s go watch Pain and Gain. That’s a straight movie. Oh, I do a commentary on that. Extend the mechanical claws of Grabbiness! Oh right. There’s nobody left. Just me. I’m sorry, but Furi Road is just one big chase, and I can’t see what’s so brilliant about that . . . My God, I see now. I get it. I know why Fury Road is a Brilliant film. It finally hit me. I know now not only why it’s genius, but as the most ingenious out of all the Mad Max movies. Why? Don’t you see what this is? Don’t you see what this all is? Meep meep. A Roadrunner cartoon? What are you talking about? The Roadrunner cartoons have lasted for years. With little to no dialogue, quickly identifiable characters and nothing but chases. People see it as classic because it’s so minimal and yet so interesting. It says so much with just a few clever choices. Fury Road is the same way. Just because it’s all one big Chase doesn’t mean that isn’t smart and it doesn’t mean that It’s not a game-changer. As much as I love Thunder Dome ,there are a few scenes that are kind of boring and I can skip. But with fury Road, I can’t imagine skipping any of it. It’s all amazing to witness. From the music to the action to cutting out anything that’s simply not needed. It gets Right to what people want to see and keeps them there throughout the entire flick. I can hardly think of any other field that did that throughout the entire thing you were right, you’ve always been right. Fury Road is the better Flick. Hey, Impractical Joe, I . . . I don’t think he wants to listen. Hang on. BANG! BANG! BANG Hey! Whoa, Ah! Cut it out! Ugh! You whore! You Mediocwhore! Sharp turn Whoa! Hardy save me! And that’s my Sammack’s should have been a man. What are you doing? I have an idea. I can’t see a thing with this on. I’m just gonna take it off. I am the redeemer! I am the savior! I . . . Am in deep shit. CAB-LAM! Well, that’s something I didn’t think I would see today. HEY! I forgot about national insecurity. They can’t have a woman do that. You should have let that Critic do it. Yeah! Wait, I know how to shut them the fuck up. Stop the car! WHOA! Everybody out! Go out there. What? Trust me they’re meninists. Just go out there. Boy, we’re gonna show them. UM! Wait. You have actually talked to a woman before right? UM! You want to go out? Oh? OH THANK GOD! If I had to listen to these pussies one more time, I was gonna shoot my balls off! Thank God. You stopped We really needed a pee break. Hey look! Devil Boner’s on her side. Traitor! You ain’t no man. Yeah! And you are? Christ! If you’re the future of what being a man is, slap a fucking vagina on me! I’d rather be a bad ass like her than whiny little bitches like you! Hey, here’s a thought. If you have to complain about how someone’s stealing your manhood, chances are you’ve never had your manhood to begin with! What are you five? You’re afraid you’re gonna get cooties? And how’s that working out for you anyway? Are women just falling at your feet because you bitch and complain about them online? Real chick magnet guys! You must get laid a lot! You know what, keep living in your mama’s basement. Because the grown-ups are gonna make the more bad ass world and we don’t need your cry baby tears pussing it up! Are you single? I could be. And now a message from the President of the United States. My fellow Americans. In light of the recent meninist movement, all female Soldiers Shall be immediately removed because women shouldn’t be fighters or saving men. Yeah! Now that’s what I’m talking about. Really? Instead, all female soldiers are to be replaced with meninists. Yea . . . huh? Seeing us how they complain that only men should do the fighting they’re to take their place and be deployed immediately. Guess what guys, I just got a new job. NOOOOOOOO! Thus, all female Soldiers Shall be rewarded the Tom Hardy movie Marathon. YAY! Who, as we all know is a method actor. Ugh. I didn’t know that… So uh, are you a feminist? I’m whatever you want me to be. (Applause) It’s over. Everyone’s cheering because we destroyed him practical Joe and all is right in the world. Wait. That’s it? He didn’t have any followers or anything like that? It’s kind like the death star once it’s gone you don’t really question the logistics of it. Oh. Well I’ve learned what a phenomenal film Fury Road truly is and that it has earned its place rightfully in film history. Hey, that reminds me. What is your name anyways? Critic. My name is Critic. Boy, that wasn’t as shocking as I thought it was gonna be. Yeah it’s the title. I don’t know why we thought that would be such a big deal. Well, why don’t you just end things in a typical Fury Road way? Oh, you mean with a visual that seems half assed, but it’s actually bad ass? Yep. You will walk the red carpet, sugar the glazed. Hey, everybody Doug walker here doing the charity shout out sadly I don’t have any video for you this time But I do have pictures and I’m even in a few of them and speaking of which Do you like comics or Manga if you’re watching me you probably do This charity is actually for the Carolina Manga library This is a traveling charity that tries to raise awareness and teach literacy through Mangas and comic books they travel from Kanaka they travel from school to school They do all sorts of various events and pretty much the idea is to teach you reading through manga and comic books because a lot of people don’t see that as Reading and of course it is you can also get some wonderful artwork you can find out new ways of discovering storytelling and this very much is Allowing people adults and kids alike to find a place where they can read some of their favorite stories Donate books if you would like and help spread awareness that reading is important everyone needs to do it And it only makes you smarter and more creative they have access to tons and tons of comics and Mangas remember those old Zelda Comics from Nintendo power Yeah They got those they got the avatar comics they have tons from Japan they have a tough American ones as well the list just keeps Going if you have a couple of bucks to spend a couple of comics to give or even just want to spread the word that Literacy is important. Definitely drop by this address and check them out

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