Kevin Hart is Not Happy About His Wife’s Porn Search History


>>>I WENT OUT. I BOUGHT A MIRROR, PUT IT ON MY CEILING FOR NO REASON AT ALL. IT WAS A TUESDAY. TRUE STORY. YOU DON’T DO [ BLEEP ] LIKE THAT ON A TUESDAY. THAT’S A WEEKEND MOVE. IT WAS ALL GOOD UNTIL I CAUGHT A REFLECTION IN THAT MIRROR WHILE WE WERE [ BLEEP ]. LET ME TELL YOU, PEOPLE, WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU [ BLEEP ], YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT. I’M TALKING ABOUT AN UNEXPECTED GLANCE AT MYSELF [ BLEEP ] IN THE MIRROR. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF AS A MAN UNTIL I SAW THE BOTTOM OF MY [ BLEEP ] FEET. MY FEET, WHERE WAS I AT?>>Jimmy: IT’S VERY FUNNY. IT’S VERY DIRTY. THIS IS NOT FOR THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS TWO CROWD.>>NO. NO. NO. IT’S A LITTLE RAUNCHY. I WOULD SAY RATED R PLUS R, IT IS.>>Jimmy: ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVED AND REALLY I WAS WONDERING ABOUT. YOU DISCLOSED YOUR WIFE’S PORN SEARCH HISTORY.>>YEAH. YEAH.>>Jimmy: NOW HOW DOES THAT WORK? DO YOU TELL HER, LIKE HEY, I, THERE’S SOMETHING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ON STAGE?>>MM-HM.>>Jimmy: LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?>>NO.>>Jimmy: NO?>>NO, THAT’S NOT HOW IT HAPPENS AT ALL. I DON’T SAY A DAMN THING AT ALL. I JUST DO IT.>>Jimmy: YOU JUST DO IT.>>SHE FOUND OUT WHEN SHE CAME TO THE COMEDY SHOW WHAT HAPPENED. THAT WAS A TOUGH TIME FOR MY. THAT WAS A TOUGH SITUATION IN THE HOUSEHOLD. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I FORGOT WE WERE JUST HAVING A CONVERSATION. IT WAS A RANDOM CONVERSATION.>>Jimmy: MM-HM.>>AND THROUGH THE RANDOM CONVERSATION, I WAS LIKE, DO YOU WATCH PORN? SHE WAS LIKE, YE, I WATCH POURN FROM TIME TO TIME. I WAS LIKE, GET OUT OF HERE, WHAT DO YOU WATCH? PORN. LET ME SEE YOUR STUFF? LET ME SEE THE [ BLEEP ]. AND SHE SHOWED ME. IT REALLY HURT ME. IT DID A NUMBER. IT DID A NUMBER. IT DID A HELL OF A NUMBER ON ME. BECAUSE IT WAS SO DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I AM. IT WAS SO, EVERYTHING WAS BIG. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. TALL. EVERYBODY WAS TALL. I GOT MAD. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS? SHE’S LIKE WHAT? I LIKE THAT STUFF. OH, MY HEART. WE’RE VERY OPEN AND HONEST. I LOVE THE DISCUSSIONS THAT WE HAVE. THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF STANDUP COMEDY WHEN DONE CORRECTLY. HONESTY AND AUTHENTICITY IS WHAT PEOPLE CAN RESPOND TO. YOU WANT TO LAUGH AT WHAT YOU CAN RELATE TO AND BELIEVE. PUTTING MY LIFE OUT THERE IN FULL IS WHAT I DO AND WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING.>>Jimmy: RIGHT. WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS, THOUGH? WHAT DO THEY THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THEM?>>MY KIDS ARE IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT THEIR DAD IS FUNNY. NOTHING IS MALICIOUS.>>Jimmy: OF COURSE NOT.>>NOTHING IS MALICIOUS. AND IT’S ALL DONE FROM MY POINT OF VIEW. IT’S THE WAY I SEE MYSELF IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS. THE JOKES ABOUT MY KIDS, YOU KNOW, FIRST OF ALL, THEY DON’T HAVE A SAY-SO OR A CHOICE.>>Jimmy: RIGHT.>>THEY LIVE A VERY GOOD LIFE. SO YOU’RE GOING TO SHUT UP AND TAKE THIS PUNISHMENT UNTIL YOU GET OLD ENOUGH TO DEFEND YOURSELF. AND, AND THE BIGGEST THING FOR ME IS TALKING TO THEM ABOUT THE JOKES THAT I’M DEVELOPING AROUND THEM. AND GETTING THEIR FEEDBACK ON IT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS DOING THE DOING THE JOKE ABOUT MY DAUGHTER. MY DAUGHTER’S 14 NOW. ONE OF MY FAVORITE JOKES IN HERE IS THE WAY THAT I HANDLE MY DAUGHTER HAVING HER FIRST PERIOD. IT WAS LIKE THE CRAZIEST THING FOR ME, AND I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP TOO MUCH.>>Jimmy: YOU WERE VERY PREPARED FOR IT. VERY PREPARED.>>I WAS EXTREMELY UNPREPARED AND PREPARED AT THE SAME TIME. BUT IT’S A REAL MOMENT. LIKE THESE ARE THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPEN. AND I KNOW I’M NOT THE ONLY MAN THAT HAS BEEN IN THAT SITUATION WHERE YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO UNTIL IT ARRIVES. AND IT WAS JUST THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE, YOU KNOW? I ENDED UP TELLING MY DAUGHTER TO, TO GO DRINK A GALLON OF MILK, HURRY UP. IT WAS SO RANDOM, BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW. I WAS NERVOUS. HURRY UP. DRINK SOME MILK. IT WILL STOP IT. IT WILL STOP EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW? WHAT? WHAT? IT WILL STOP IT. IT WILL FREEZE IT UP. IT WILL FREEZE IT UP.>>Jimmy: I THINK THAT’S FOR HOT SAUCE.>>I HAD NO IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM. BUT, YOU KNOW, THROUGH PANICKING IS YOUR SOME OF THE MOST FUN COMES FROM.>>Jimmy: YOU’RE TURNING 40 IN JULY.>>I AM, MAN.>>Jimmy: DO YOU HAVE A BIG THING PLANNED?>>NO.>>Jimmy: NOTHING PLANNED?>>NO, I’M NOTANYTHING. IT’S OVER.>>Jimmy: IS IT OVER?>>THERE’S THE OTHER SIDE OF FUN. YOU LOOK AT TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT. IT’S GOING TO BE CRAZY. WHEN I SAW THAT VIDEO OF YOU AND YOU’RE LAYING ON THE CASINO CHAIRS, YOU TOO OLD FOR THAT [ BLEEP ]. AT A CERTAIN — >>NEVER TOO OLD, KEVIN.>>NO. NO. YOU ARE. THERE’S A CERTAIN POINT, THERE’S A CERTAIN POINT WHERE YOU GOT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND GO, WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT AM I DOING? AND I’VE DRANK. I’VE TRIED TO DO THE YOUNGER VERSION OF MYSELF HAS DONE IN THE PAST. AND IT’S NOT GONE OVER WELL. LIKE I CAN’T HANDLE IT. SO FOR MY 40th, I’M GIVING MYSELF HONESTY. I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND WATCH A MOVIE. LEAVE ME ALONE. [ APPLAUSE ] I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE. I DON’T NEED ANYTHING ELSE. I AM COMFORTABLE WITH NOTHING. I DON’T NEED A CELEBRATION AT ALL.>>Jimmy: IN OTHER WORDS, HINT, HINT, YOU WANT A SURPRISE PARTY.>>THAT’S ALWAYS A REASON TO FEAR, THROW A BIG PARTY AND NOBODY’S SHOWING UP.>>Jimmy: EVERYBODY’S INVITED TO KEVIN’S BIRTHDAY PARTY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>>Jimmy: WE’RE GOING TO WATCH A MOVIE. THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS TWO.>>THAT’S GOING TO BE MY PARTY.

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