J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. Epic Rap Battles of History

Season 5 Epic Rap Battles Of History George R. R. Martin VERSUS J. R. R. Tolkien BEGIN! Brace yourself gather up your trolls and your soldier elves and your ents and your orcs and your wargs and your Stings your dwarves and Glamdrings cause there’s a new literary Lord in the Ring my readers fall in love with every character I’ve written then I kill ’em and they’re like “no he didn’t” all your bad guys die and your good guys survive we can teel what’s gonna happen by page and age five tell your all seeing eye to find some sex in your movies ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies there’s edgier plots in that David the Gnome your hobbit hole heroes can’t handle my throne Kings Queens dragons dragons horses, fortresses, magic and swords you Hob-bit my whole shit you uninspired hack you want a war George? welcome to Shire-raq in book sales you’ve go nothing to sav I’m number one and two you’re under Fifty Shades of Grey I got the prose of a pro your shit’s subpar you’re a pirate you even stole my R.R. we all know the world is full of chance and anarchy so yes it’s true to life for characters to die randomly but news flash the genre’s called fantasy it’s meant to be unrealistic you myopic manatee I conscientiously object to what you’re doing on these beats I’ll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast you went too deep Professor tweed pants we don’t need the back story on every fucking tree branch I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme you LARPed your Santa Claus ass through Vietnam and it’s hard for me to take criticism on clothes from a dude who sends a raven to say hi to his toes Man your fat jokes are worse that your pipe smoke my show’s the hottest thing on HBO! I’m rock and roll, you’re a nerdy little nebbish and I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish dog even the names of your characters suck you got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks lift up my gut and tea Baggins my nuts C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing how you and Jon snow both know nothing! because the backstory of my box office is billions got my children making millions off my Silmarillions and I’m more rock and roll than you’ve ever been don’t believe me? ask Led Zeppelin! you can’t reach this fellow shit, I’m too Towering every time I battle it’s return of the King!!! WHO WON? WHO NEXT? YOU DECIDE! Epic Rap Battles Of History //Ich hab mein bestes versucht, allerdings ist es teilweise sehr schwierig, eine gute Übersetzung zu finden, die sich auch für Untertitel eignet. //Verbesserungsvorschläge sind gerne gesehen! 🙂 //Untertitel von: Chrintario

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