How A Soldier Single-Handedly Liberated An Entire German Occupied City

It’s D-Day, World War II, and Canada has joined
in the international struggle to politely ask Hitler to stop being a mass-murdering
Nazi dickhead- by sending her soldiers to kill as many Nazis as they can. Amongst the men charging the beaches of France
that day, is one Canadian infantryman, serving with the Regiment de la Chaudiere, Leo Major. In his early twenties, Major joined the Canadian
military years earlier in a bid to prove to his estranged father that he was someone to
be proud of. Major would soon prove that as he single-handedly
helped put a considerable dent in the rapidly shrinking global supply of Nazis. Major manages to make it off the landing beach
intact, while many around him are felled by German artillery and machine gun fire. Making his way past the bunkers guarding the
beach head, he stumbles across a German communications team working from the back of an armored truck. A proper Canadian through and through, Major
proceeds to politely introduce himself to the Nazi soldiers, with his bullets. Moments later several dead Nazis are all that
remains of the communications team, and Major has managed to single-handedly secure an incredible
intelligence victory for the Allies- the armored truck is loaded down with German radios and
codebooks, a veritable treasure trove that will allow the Allies to monitor German radio
broadcasts for weeks to come. Days later the Germans make a compelling counter-argument
for the Allies to please leave Europe, sending huge formations of tanks and infantry against
the Normandy beaches. The allies sternly refuse the invitation to
leave Europe in Nazi hands, and Major soon finds himself going up against a squad of
elite Nazi Schuztstaffel- the feared SS. In a fierce firefight, Major and the men of
his unit managed to destroy the SS, but not before one of the men threw a phosphorus grenade,
which exploded and coated part of Major’s face with burning phosphorus. Rushed to a field hospital, Major suffered
some burns to his face, but tragically, he also suffered the loss of his left eye, which
the phosphorus had rendered blind. The medical officer in charge informed Major
that his part in the war was done, and that he would soon be returned home. Major however had different plans. He marched straight to his commanding officer
and demanded that he be allowed to remain, pointing out the very obvious in that he had
in fact been born with two eyes, because God had seen fit to give him a spare just for
this very reason. After proving that a man really only needed
one eye to look down the barrel of a rifle or into a scope and kill Nazis, Major was
allowed to stay. From then on he would wear a trademark eye
patch and begin referring to himself as a pirate, which if you lose an eye killing four
members of the most elite Nazi warriors, you totally get to do. From this moment on Leo Major would become
a bonafide Nazi-eradicating pirate sniper, and we double-dog dare you to tell us of a
more awesome job title in history. Canada’s pirate sniper would fight across
France, gradually helping the allies push back the Nazis and liberating town after town. A year later as Major joined Canadian forces
fighting in the Netherlands, he was sent to scout alone for a patrol of fresh recruits
who it was feared had gotten lost. Making his way to a small dutch town in freezing
cold rain, Major spotted two German soldiers walking along a dike, and immediately took
one prisoner, using him as bait to try and capture the other. The second soldier however- possibly because
he believed a real-life pirate had just time-traveled to the present and now demanded his surrender-
panicked and tried to go for his weapon, forcing Major to shoot him dead. By now the allies had learned that Germans
made some of the finest soldiers in the world because they were really good at listening
to orders, so Major made his way to the unit’s command post with his prisoner in tow and
captured the unit’s commanding officer. Major ordered the German to surrender his
unit, and because if you yell at a Nazi loud enough with an authoritative voice they pretty
much do what you tell them to, the majority of the German unit surrendered. Three men however raised objection to being
captured by a single possibly time-traveling Canadian pirate, and Major silenced those
objections by killing them dead. Marching his nearly 100 prisoners back to
Allied lines, nearby Waffen-SS units saw an entire unit being held prisoner by a single
man and opened fire. Major however considered this nothing more
than a rude interruption of his afternoon stroll and ignored the SS troops, though the
SS managed to kill seven of their own and injure several others. Upon returning back to friendly lines, Major
was chosen to receive the Distinguished Conduct Medal, the oldest British medal for gallantry
and second only to the Victoria Cross. Major however refused the medal, as if he
accepted it then it would be British General Bernard Montgomery who pinned it on his chest,
and in Major’s view, Montgomery was a puffed up blowhard interested only in his own glory. Given the fact that Montgomery had just sacrificed
the lives of thousands of Allied paratroopers in the disastrous Operation Market Garden
two months prior, Major had a rather good point. When a secret Nazi program to travel back
in time and stop the first pirate from being born so that Major would never exist failed
to stop his rampage across Europe, it would be a mine that nearly knocked Canada’s pirate-sniper
out of the fight for good. In February 1945, Major was assisting a military
chaplain load German corpses from a burned-out Tiger tank into an armored personnel carrier. The chaplain and the driver then sealed themselves
in the front compartment while Major rode in the back with the dead. Minutes later the APC ran over an anti-tank
mine, and later Major would recall that he remembered only hearing a loud blast and the
feeling of being thrown up into the air and coming down hard on his back. He would awake later over two medical officers
doing their best to treat the wounds across Major’s body, which had very suddenly developed
an allergic reaction to landmine explosions. Drifting into consciousness, the first thing
Major asked was if the Chaplain was ok, though the medics ignored the question- the chaplain
and driver had both been killed in the blast. Major was rushed to a hospital, the truck
having to stop every fifteen minutes so that the medics could administer a fresh morphine
injection for the terrible pain in his back. Drifting in and out of consciousness, Major
eventually was made stable, though the doctors had terrible news for him: he had broken his
back in three places, and had also shattered four ribs and both ankles. The war was over for Leo Major, the Nazis
had at last eliminated their pirate-sniper scourge. Or that’s what would have happened, if Major
hadn’t sought out a second opinion on his injuries- from himself. A week later, Major fled the military hospital,
and we have to remind you here that he did this with a back broken in three places, four
shattered ribs, and while fleeing on two broken ankles. If the military was going to be stupid enough
to send him home for something as measly as debilitating, crippling injuries, then he
would just have to get away from the military for a while. Hitching a ride to the Dutch town of Nijmegen,
Major stayed with a family he had met while previously passing through the area. The family gladly took him in, and Major informed
his broken body that it had exactly thirty days to fix itself before Major would return
to the business of killing Nazis. Major would end up only giving his shattered
bones 28 days to heal though, as everyone knew that the war would be winding down soon
and then there’d be no more Nazis to crush- at least not until 2018. Major returned to his unit and luckily for
the Allies, his commander decided that it would be best to not punish a man who had
single-handedly captured almost 100 Nazis just for going AWOL so he could avoid being
sent home. A month later, Major would repeat this incredible
feat, though in a far more spectacular fashion. When asking for volunteers for a dangerous
recon mission, Major and his best friend Corporal Willie Arseneault both stepped forward. They would be tasked with reconning the dutch
city of Zwolle, which was currently under the control of Nazis. Their mission was to discover the number of
German defenders and then contact the Dutch resistance, so that later a full assault could
be launched on the town. After arriving at Zwolle, Major and Arseneault
decided that a full-blown battle would devastate the beautiful little town, and so instead
they chose the next rational course of action: simply capture the entire town by themselves. Defended by well over 100 Germans, the duo
snuck into the town with the same trick in mind that Major had used earlier in the war-
simply capture the commanding officer and order the Germans to surrender, then shoot
any that declined. Unfortunately Arseneault gave away the two’s
position, and a firefight erupted, during which Arseneault was killed. This proved to be a slight mistake for the
Germans, as watching his best friend get gunned down drove Major to go all super-saiyan and
murder the living crap out of two of the Germans before the other dozen fled for their lives. Still Major persisted with his self-appointed
mission, knowing that a full-scale battle would devastate the civilians trapped in the
town. Ambushing a German officer, Major told the
man that Canadian artillery would begin firing on the town at six am, causing untold casualties
amongst the Germans and civilians alike. Believing that they were facing insurmountable
odds, the German agreed that holding the town would be foolish, and so Major returned his
weapon to him and let him leave unharmed, hoping that the officer would warn the rest
of the Germans about the terrible bombardment they would soon be facing. Then Major decided to fool the rest of the
Germans into believing that the town was under full-scale attack by Canadian forces, and
thus he ran across the town like a madman, firing his submachine gun and throwing grenades,
making such a racket that the Germans were fooled into believing the Canadians were attacking. As he ran across the town raising hell, Major
would regularly run into groups of German soldiers, and ten times throughout the night
he captured groups of up to 10 men and ran them back to the Canadian troops waiting outside
the town. After handing over each batch of prisoners,
Major simply rushed back into the town to keep waging World War II all by himself do
it all over again. Eventually, he discovered the Gestapo HQ and
set the building on fire. When he then discovered the SS headquarters
by accident, he got into a close quarters firefight that saw four Nazis dead and the
other four flee for their lives. By 4:30 am all the German soldiers in the
town had ran for their lives, and Major had successfully captured an entire city by himself. For his feat, Major was awarded the Distinguished
Conduct Medal, which he accepted this time. Sadly for Major, World War II was soon over,
and he returned to civilian life to work as a pipe fitter. Just five years later though the Korean war
broke out, and while it wouldn’t be the same as killing Nazis, Major decided that killing
Communists would simply have to do. He volunteered for service and he joined a
scout and sniper platoon. A few years later, cease fire talks were planned
between both sides. Knowing that a cease fire would lock each
side’s forces into their current positions, both sides attempted to capture strategic
positions that they could then hold on to and reinforce during the cease fire. In one corner of the war, American troops
held a spot known as Hill 355, a commanding position which allowed whichever side that
held it to control over twenty miles of terrain around it. The Chinese decided that they wanted that
hill for themselves, and sent 40,000 men against the US’s 3rd Infantry. After two days of fighting the Americans were
forced to retreat, and after a failed counterattack, the hill remained in Chinese hands. To make matters worse, the Chinese army had
also taken up a position on Hill 227 near Hill 355, which in effect left UN forces nearly
surrounded. Major, now in command of his own platoon of
scout snipers, was immediately dispatched to shore up Canadian and American defenses. However, deciding that the best defense is
a good offense, Major once more chose to creatively interpret his orders and led his men as they
snuck into the middle of Chinese positions on Hill 355 in the dead of night. At a signal from Major, the men all opened
fire, and the Chinese, confused and panicked at why and how they were being fired at from
within their own ranks, fled the hill. An hour later though the Chinese regrouped,
and two divisions, numbering at a staggering 14,000 men, launched a counter-attack. Reinforced with some Canadian and American
troops, the UN forces were still hopelessly outnumbered, and yet the Chinese had failed
to take into account the fact that Major was in fact, a certified Nazi-murdering pirate
sniper. Major’s own commanding officers also failed
to take that fact into account, and when he was ordered to retreat, Major noted that there
was little if any cover for his men if they tried to make a run for it, and thus he declined
the order and proceeded to politely request the Chinese get off his hill by killing hundreds
of them. Holding against incredible odds for an entire
night, Major would go on to earn his second Distinguished Conduct Medal. After the Korean war, Major settled into his
civilian life and into raising a son to ensure that the pirate bloodline would not end. He would return to the dutch city of Zwolle
regularly and befriend its inhabitants, who thanked him each time for liberating their
city and sparing them the horror and suffering of being caught in a full-blown battle. The city would go on to honor him by naming
a major road after him, and in 2008 Major would finally be laid to rest at the age of
87. Or at least that’s the official story, and
we here at The Infographics channel believe that as a possible time-traveling pirate,
Major actually left our timeline to find earths in alternate dimensions where Hitler had won,
liberating one timeline after another from the rule of Nazi dickheads. Think you would’ve had what it took to fight
alongside Leo Major? Did the Nazis really try to stop him from
being born by traveling back in time and killing the first pirate? Let us know in the comments! And as always if you enjoyed this episode
don’t forget to Like, Share, and Subscribe for more great content!

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