Florence Nightingale Revolutionizes Nursing (feat. Minka Kelly) – Drunk History


Hello, my name is
Paget Brewster. And today we will be discussing
Florence Nightingale, the Mother of Modern Nursing. Wha–that was perfect! – Just rolled
right off your tongue. – Did it not? – [mockingly]
The mutter of mudern nursing. – Did I say
“The mutter of mudern nursing”? – [very slurred]
The mudder of muddern nurding. – Hi, I’m Paget Brewster,
and today, we will be discussing
Florence Nightingale, The Mutter of Modern Nursing. [both laugh]Okay, our story begins
in 1830s England,
which is the beginning
of the Victorian Area.
– Oh.
– “Era.”
– I’ve been there. – Shut it up now. – [chuckles]
– Okay.So Florence Nightingale
is the daughter
of a very wealthy
affluent family
outside of London.And Florence is doing
what everyone her age is doing.She’s a teenager
and her mother says,
Oh, this is so great.You’re just gonna
study all this stuff.
And then you’re gonna
marry rich
’cause you’re rich,
and you’re gonna have kids.
And Florence is like,Ugh. I don’t think
I want that at all.
In fact, I like nursing.I like fixing people
and helping people.
And maybe I’m a [bleep]
weirdo, I don’t [bleep] know.
And she started thinking,
Oh, my God.
Maybe God has chosen me
for something greater
than just being
a rich [bleep] lady.
So she tells her parents,I don’t want to run a house.I just want to be
a [bleep] nurse.
She wants to be a nurse, but
nursing is not a profession.And at the age of 24,
she leaves the house
and starts interning atthe Harley Street hospital
in London.
And in 1853,
the War of Crimea breaks out.
So–– Have you ever
been in that river? – Huh? – “Cry me a” river?
You never been there? – Oh, [bleep] me.
Oh, my God. – [chuckles]
– Oh, God. Why do I want to kick you? – I get that.
– I like you. Anyway.In 1854,
the Secretary of War,
Sidney Herbert
writes a letter
to Florence Nightingale
saying,
Florence, uh,
you’re a great nurse.
I’ve heard about your workat the–at the
something hospital
I already forgot
the [bleep] name of.
– Is that Harley?– Harley Street hospital.
That’s right.
I need you to go get
a team of nurses together
and go and help out
our military doctors.
So Florence was like,
Yep, I’m [bleep] on board.
So Florence gathers together
38 nurses.And they go to the
Scutari Barracks Hospital
in Constantinople,which is a piece of shit.It was rats and lice.It’s not even a hospital;
it’s a barracks.
So they show up,
and the male doctors,
they flip the [bleep] out.They’re like,
[Bleep] these broads.
We don’t need any chicks here.God damn it.
This sucks. – Would you like me
to help you? – Yes, please, Derek. You broke it!
[laughs] That’s pretty manly.
[laughs][shimmering tone]Thank you.
Gi– Don’t you– Give me
my [bleep] booze, bitch! All right, you’re
[bleep] in for it now.So the doctor’s pissed off,
and Florence is like,
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah,
I get that.
It’s never happened
before in history,
but I’m here now,
my ladies are here now.
Florence and her nurses areshocked at the conditions,but they believe in Florence,
and they’re like,
All right.We’re gonna do
whatever she says.
Let’s go.
Let’s clean this up.
Two days later,
thousands of soldiers injured
from the Battle of Inkermanare brought into
the barracks hospital.
This was 3,000 soldierslaying on straw pallets.They are covered in
their own excrement.
They are bleeding.So the doctors are like,Oh, shit.
[Bleep] it, we need your help.
She ends up being known as
the lady with the lamp,
because it was
this British woman
there in Crimea,holding a lamp
and visiting soldiers.
But one night,while she was
changing the dressing
of a man who had had
an arm amputation,
an army doctor walked in.And the man was naked.
– But why?
– Because they
had no resources.And the doctor
said to Florence,
The [bleep] are you doing?
His dick is out.
And Florence was like,[Bleep] you.
His [bleep] arm’s infected.
– Holding for plane.
[distant plane drones] – Oh, my God,
we’re holding for a plane. Don’t kick me.
– I have a twitch. – I am not a fan of this.
I thought you were a gentleman. – Florence Nightingale.
I thought you liked– – Oh, I’m a fan of
Florence Nightingale, not you. You ready?
– [chuckles] – Shut up!I’m gonna kick you
in the nuts!
Bring your nuts closerso I can kick the–
’cause I’m tired.
– [soft laugh] – So all of these soldiers
are amazedthis lady with a lamp
was protecting them.
And the soldiers were
saying to each other,
This is the only person
that’s cared about us.
And Florence and
her nurses have done
everything they can do.Unfortunately,
in the four months
that they are first there,
4,777 soldiers die.
And Florence says,
I’m so [bleep] angry.
I’m so angry we lost
so many men.
And I need to find out
why we failed.
So the Crimean War ends
in 1856.
And Florence
gets back to England.
And she is awardeda $250,000
war fund dispensation gift
from Queen Victoria.But Queen Victoria says,What happened in Crimea?And Florence says,
I don’t [bleep] know.
It was bad.And I think I noticed a trend.And I’m gonna have to
[bleep] think about this. She is also really sick.She has the Crimean flu.I mean, bad, coughing, sputum.– What’s sputum?– Sputum’s an old term
for mucus.
– Too much informashe.
– “Informashe”?
– [chuckles] – I will not
accept that from you. – Crimea river. – Shut up. [Bleep] you.
I’m drunk. So…Florence goes back to Englandand just goes to her bed.She’s so illthat she stays in bed
for 11 years.
– What?
– And it–yes.
In those 11 years,she starts studyingall of her notes
from Constantinople.
And she’s like, I know
something was wrong here.
And she’s building graphs.And she starts
seeing a pattern.
And she’s like, I think
I figured out what happened.
The men
at the Scutari Hospital
were ten times
more likely to die
from an infectious disease
than from a war wound.
That’s why we failed.
It was hygiene.
And she was like,Cleanliness is
next to godliness.
So she presents all
of this analytical data
to Queen Victoria.And in 1859, she wrote a bookcalled “Notes on Nursing.”Years go by,and Florence uses the money
that Queen Victoria gave her
to found the Nightingale
School of Nursing,
which is
the first nursing school
in the history of ever?Nursing didn’t exist
until Florence Nightingale.Also, when Florence
Nightingale is 87 years old,
she received
the Order of Merit
from Queen Victoria,who still is kicking,
and is like,
This [bleep] Florence
is great!
She fixed a bunch of shit.I like her moxie.This was the first time
a woman was ever awarded the Order of Merit.And that’s a big [bleep] deal.[burps]
– Are you okay?
– Yeah, I burped.
– I know.
That looked aggressive. – It was not
an aggressive burp.– I mean,
aggressive as in, like,
I wanna make sure
you’re not gonna throw up.
Okay?
– You know I–I’m a lady.
– Oh. Curtsy.– [British accent] C–curtsy.Okay, you ready?So Florence Nightingale
was responsible
for pioneering an industryand giving women a job
and a purpose
that they weren’t allowed
at that time. So what she did
was really extraordinary.And it’s amazing.159 years later,her book is still used
in hospitals today.
My math is not good. It might be 170-something. – Remember, it’s 2019. – Okay, I don’t like math. I want you to do it. Not because you’re a man.
Well, kind of. – Uh….[patriotic music]

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