Dom’s Google History: When Bees Attack


Dom, you can learn so much about someone by what they search on the internet that’s why each week we go through your Google search history You don’t know what we found you don’t know what we’re gonna read out What you do need to do is explain Why you searched what you searched What have you got tonight, Zach? Our first search comes from Thursday, at 8:45 p.m I imagine this was with a mouth full of spaghetti at the time Well, last Thursday night, before I came into the show You know…it’s very hard to judge how much spaghetti you should cook when you’re cooking spaghetti it’s really hard I went way too much and I thought…does spaghetti have like, addictive… You think they’re putting nicotine in there? I don’t know what it is but like, I don’t… I had this problem with spaghetti and with corn chips I don’t have this problem with like, vegetables Haven’t you seen those warning ads they do ‘every strand of spaghetti is doing you damage’ You haven’t seen those? Well no – I’m just saying why… …why do I, you know Go back for the whole… like, why can’t I stop eating spaghetti but I’m very happy to leave it at one carrot? Yeah – weak willed Well, not weak-willed when it comes to carrots! I’m very good at saying no to them The next thing you searched Thursday at 8:22 p.m. Yeah – that’s a fair question ‘Is it cool to have an air freshener?’? Yeah, is it? What, like – ‘leather jacket, sunglasses, air freshener…’ ‘who’s that guy? Woahhhh!’ If you get in someone’s car and they have an air freshener, what do you think? What – you think there’s people out there going ‘Hey did you hear Dom got a new air freshener?’ No, I don’t mean- ‘How cool!’ No – I just mean generally, what would your thoughts be? Would your thoughts be ‘…oh cool.’? Or would they be like ‘…that’s a bit weird…’? I don’t think anyone would have any thoughts I think the fact that you’re asking whether it’s cool might play negatively for you in the cool stakes Basically everything I found – girls like guys with air fresheners Do they? Well there were lot of girls saying ‘if a guy rocked up to pick me up and his car had an air freshener…’ ‘…I’d think good things about the guy’ …so you’ve packed out your car with them He’s got 48 in there! Well if they like one, they’re gonna love my bulk order of ’em It’s a numbers game And I got one of every flavor too! They won’t clash! The last thing you searched was Tuesday at 11:50 4 a.m Batten down the hatches! The bees are coming! They know I have their honey and they’re pissed off! I don’t entirely know why I worded it like that ‘are the bees coming for my honey?’? Well, the sentiment I was asking was like, now that I’ve bought the honey Like, is it safely mine now or like… …do bees respect private property ownership? Well like if- Do they respect the fact that you’ve purchased it? Do you have to show a receipt? And they won’t bother you no more If I left like an open thing of honey out on the deck would the bees come for it? Or are they kinda like ‘nope, that’s not our honey’ ‘our honey’s on the plants!’ That’s not really how it works… They don’t collect honey from the plants They collect nectar and turn it into honey Right, well won’t they see my jar of honey outside and think ‘that’s our honey!’ Why are you keeping your honey outside? Not a good place to keep it! I know sometimes people debate should it be in the cupboard or the fridge No-one’s saying it should be opened on the balcony! Well that’s…I mean- ‘Coz there’s ants as well aren’t there Actually there were ants in my honey …why were you keeping honey outside!? No – what happened Zach was I put some honey on a slice of toast I walked outside to eat my slice of toast and I’m like ‘is this going to attract the bees?’ Yeah, you hear ‘zzzzz…’ Is the swarm coming? And then the sky goes black because of how big the swarm is ‘The bees are coming!’ ‘The bees are coming!’ ‘Everyone inside!’

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