Communication Problem StandUp Comedy by Vignesh Vijayan. HINDI Imposing gone Wrong.


When i started performing, all my friends are so happy. But some of my close friends are not happy. Because i speak good english aan. “Namma kooda dhana he was sitting… How come he speak English?!?!” Even Gomathy Gopalswamy (My real English teacher) will be so stunned !!! “Indha payanuku Vowels kooda olunga varadhe” “How come he’s talking continous English??!?” When i started learning English, it was tougher for me. Georgina is wondering now! My english is good Georgina (Front Row VICTIM)? “Yeah okay…” “It’s Awesome” “Awesome ah?!!” “NASAMA Pochu” “I will tell you how i overcome my communication problem” There was one old English professor looking like JURASSIC Park film la vara old thatha He said, “Son! Communication is the key to Success” If i think about that now, “Podaaang! Who told!?” It has several problems. I’ll tell you, How did i overcome this Communication Problem. When i was in school… That’s the time we learn new things. I watched all English movies… [AUDIENCE DOUBTING] “With dialogues”… Without dialogues also i watched… But there was also a problem. Only 4 dialogues came. “Come On… Easy… Do It… One more…” Chiii But I am basically born good boy. I applied the same theory in the GYM. “Come On… Easy… Do It… One More…” Then after seeing all HBO, Star Movies getting into College Level There also Communication problem. These girls very bad i will tell you… Will give few seconds to stare at my face Am i looking like the guy who is coming and telling you “I am coming from Kansas City, U.S.A” NO! K.K.Nagar-u. Because girls come and talk to you its 8th wonder. And when they talk, “Hey I don’t know, The SUN is you know its kind of too much of SOODU and okandhen sema soodu” Waitis I know Tamil. All my friends used to complain like 7G Rainbow colony Ravikrishna, “Mmm Anitha-vuku English la dhan pesanumam” When they talk in English , Tiger growling in under stomach I mean, Adi vaithula Puli ah karaikura madhiri irukum [Subtitle] What you say in english!?! “Butterfly in the stomach. Right?” Imagine to the size like me, AVATAR movie Toruk Makto was flying. Now from College am entering into the CORPORATE WORLD. WOW! They say English is UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE. Correct? NO. It has several sub-categories. ANDHRA English, MALLU English, THANGLISH & Settu basha English (HINGLISH) I was in this corporate world in my first project thought i can handle everyone with my English. Everyone speak English. But, they have flavors of their Native language (Including me) If i am asking you.. Anyway you won’t come but still… Are you coming for lunch? This Andhra Engish guy, You know how he calls me for Lunch? “Hey What raa… What-u doing? Coming for Lunch aaah!?” “No… You GO!” “Lunch ah? GO Va (Sounds like GOA)” Lunch enda GOA pora? They (We) have the Flavours
Then i come to my desk, Now comes the MALLU ENGLISH (My LEAD). This guy is very furious because he comes in 01st shift & leaves in Night shift. When i sat next to him, “Ohh Microsoft OOfice la Doocument Mudichachoo?!?” “Sir?!” “Mudichachoo!!?” “Sir Mudichur illa K K Nagar-u” “Naan Coomplain Cheyyum” “Oh COMPLAN ellam seiveengala? WOW! EDIBLE (Eligible) bachelor” Then my beautiful manger came but my friend warned me “Machan she’s Bengali” “So what i have seen 2 States an all Don’t worry” She came to me. Me with wide CROC smile and you know what was the first thing she said?!?! “WASH your name?” “WASH ah?” Enna vandha odane Washing and Pouring?!!! Friend: “I told you know she’s Bengali” “I am VIGNESH” “Bigunesh?” “Yes. I am BIG but still VIGNESH” BIGunesh! VICKY BIKKI?! Chiii… I had one good Punjabi friend. Recently this JALLIKATTU protest happened. Such a unity in Chennai. FIRST day i too went serious, 02nd day i confess. I went for SELFIE. This guy sitting next to me and i was shouting “JALLIKATTU JALLIKATTU” HINGLISH: “JOLLYKATTU JOLLYKATTU” JOLLY ah?! Dei… Ayyo JALLI KATTU Ok, I will say JALLI you say KATTU JALLI… KAATOO KAATOO (Show Show – TAMIL) Don’t worry. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING! What you do? “Night shift machan”… “Please GO!” BUT there are these Crazy TRANSLATORS… You know! I faced a situation with HINGLISH & THANGLISH problem. During a client visit, (Default name) PETER came. We can’t understand their accent on of a sudden. Peter on of a sudden: “It happens” (Chinese & British MIX accent). These words “It” “Happens” IT HAPPENS in HINDI What? “Otha Aei [BAD WORD Alert]… Correct?!” HINDI Audience: “HOTHA HEIN” I can’t understand PETER language. There was this North Indian guy, I asked him what PETER said?. He should have just simply told me in English, “It Happens” “HOTHA HEIN” “OTHA Aei…” I asked you what he said? “HOTHA HEIN”
“OTHA avalodhan…” “AVUULODHAN” (Hindi & Tamil MIX) Peter: “What happened?”
Me: “Peter you don’t know anything Shut up” “Otha Aei” “HOTHA HEIN” I will finish with few #MESSAGE, “We have so many languages & So many languages we don’t know” Recent this IMPOSING and all happening like, “Speak My language, Speak My language” Be Happy that you are able to Speak 🙂 All i want to say is, LEARN – SPEAK – TEACH – DISCUSS – MAKE FUN But, DO NOT FORCE (IMPOSE) into Someone 🙂 #Message Thank you! You have been a lovely audience. This is your VICKY EnterTrainer!

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