Cold Open: Everyone’s Internet Search History – Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Episode Highlight)


OH, THIS IS AMAZING. THIS IS SO AMAZING. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
IS AMAZING. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? A VIRUS GOT ON THE SERVER AND SENT ALL OF US AN EMAIL WITH EVERYONE’S
SEARCH HISTORIES. CHECK THIS OUT. SERGEANT JEFFORDS
SEARCHED THE INTERNET FOR “UNDISCOVERED MUSCLE.” I WAS WORKING OUT
AND SAW A MUSCLE IN MY SHOULDER I’D NEVER SEEN BEFORE. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT’VE
BEEN A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY. LISTEN TO THIS.
SCULLY SEARCHED FOR “HOW MUCH FUDGE
IS IN A CALORIE?” I NEVER FOUND THE ANSWER,
BUT IT WAS A GOOD QUESTION. BOYLE LOOKED UP,
“HOW TO MAKE DESK YOGURT.” YES, I DID, AND I AM THRILLED
WITH THE RESULTS. ALTHOUGH THE JAR
IS REALLY HOT. THAT’S GROSS.
AND AMY SEARCHED FOR “DANIEL CRAIG HANDS”
PLUS “CLOSE UP.” UGH. YOU SHOULD TALK. YOU SEARCHED FOR
“CHEAPEST DATE POSSIBLE.” AND I WEAR THAT SEARCH
LIKE BADGE OF HONOR. SO, READY FOR DINNER? HERE WE GO.
[grunts] WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING SWEET? OR MAYBE SAVORY? APPLE PIE–
AND I’M STUCK. I’M STUCK!

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