Colbert: All The Other Reasons Trump Is A Bad President


WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE
SHOW.” I’M YOUR SHOWS STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW, FOLKS, HOW WAS EVERYBODY’S WEEKEND? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I HAD A PRETTY GOOD WEEKEND. NOT AS GOOD AS THE PRESIDENT’S,
BUT GOOD. IN CASE YOU’RE COMING TO US FROM
UNDER YOUR ROCK — I HOPE YOU’RE ALL SITTING DOWN, AND YOU ALL
ARE, GOOD. ( LAUGHTER )
OUT THERE, TOO. BECAUSE THIS WEEKEND, WE GOT
SOME TROUBLING NEWS — OUR PRESIDENT IS “NOT” A RUSSIAN
ASSET. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT JUST FEELS STRANGE TO SAY.>>Jon: YES.>>Stephen: NOW, I SAY
“TROUBLING NEWS” BECAUSE, IF TRUMP ISN’T WORKING WITH THE
RUSSIANS, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? ( LAUGHTER )
IF THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ON HIM, WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING
NICE THINGS ABOUT PUTIN? ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S LIKE, IF AT THE END OF “THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE” WHEN THEY
SHOW HIM THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS, THE GUY’S LIKE,
(AS TRUMP) “PUT AWAY THE CARD. DON’T NEED IT. ( LAUGHTER )
QUEEN OF CLUBS, JACK OF DIAMONDS, SUBWAY SANDWICH
PUNCH CARD, WHATEVER, I’M ONBOARD.” ( LAUGHTER )
HERE’S WHERE WE ARE — AFTER ALMOST TWO YEARS, IN WHICH WE
ALL AGED TEN, ON FRIDAY, ROBERT MUELLER TURNED IN HIS REPORT TO
ATTORNEY GENERAL AND WHITE-COLLAR FRED FLINTSTONE,
WILLIAM BARR. ( LAUGHTER )
WHAT WAS IN IT? FRIDAY AROUND 5:00, SOMETHING
LIKE THAT. WHAT WAS IN IT? NOBODY KNEW. UNTIL YESTERDAY, WHEN BARR
RELEASED A FOUR-PAGE LETTER SUMMARIZING IT. IT WAS LIKE CLIFF NOTES OR MORE
LIKE “I WANT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF” NOTES. ( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE THE BIGGEST BOMBSHELL, ACCORDING TO BARR, IS THAT
“MUELLER’S REPORT CONCLUDED THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN DID NOT COLLUDE
WITH RUSSIA TO INFLUENCE THE 2016 ELECTION.” WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR NEW,
ONGOING SEGMENT “OH… ALRIGHT THEN…” ( LAUGHTER )
“DAY ONE.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THIS IS, SHALL WE SAY, ANTI-CLIMACTIC. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S LIKE SAYING, “GUESS WHAT, KIDS! SANTA CAME! AND HE BROUGHT…MOSTLY NOTHING! ( LAUGHTER )
IN FACT, SANTA TOOK HIS SACK OF PRESENTS AND HANDED IT OVER TO A
GUY NAMED BILL, AND BILL’S LIKE, “I’LL GIVE YOU A SUMMARY OF THE
GIFTS.” OH, AND BY THE WAY THIS BILL GUY
GOT THIS JOB BY WRITING A 19 PAGE MEMO ABOUT HOW CHRISTMAS IS
ILLEGAL. ( LAUGHTER )
WE’VE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS MUELLER INVESTIGATION FOR TWO
YEARS. I THINK WE EVEN MENTIONED IT ON
THE SHOW A COUPLE OF TIMES. ( LAUGHTER )
AND THIS IS THE FINALE. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE ENDING OF
“LOST.” ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: WOW. WOW. ( PIANO RIFF )
( AUDIENCE REACTS )>>Stephen: I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT
THE SMOKE MONSTER? WAS IT REAL OR NOT? AND IF NOT, WHY HAVE SO MANY
MEMBERS OF TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN PLEAD GUILTY TO LYING ABOUT
MEETING WITH THE SMOKE MONSTER? ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON’T UNDERSTAND! I DON’T UNDERSTAND! WHY COULDN’T THIS HAVE BEEN LIKE
THE ENDING OF “SEINFELD?” STILL DISAPPOINTING, BUT AT
LEAST THEY’RE ALL IN JAIL. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
OH, MY. SO NOW THAT BARR SAYS THAT
MUELLER SAYS THERE’S NO PROOF OF COLLUSION, A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT
TRUMP’S CRITICS TO APOLOGIZE. OKAY, I’LL START. I’VE SAID ONE OR TWO THINGS
ABOUT DONALD TRUMP, LIKE HOW HE’S A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT. SO I’M JUST GONNA BITE THE
BULLET AND SAY, MR. PRESIDENT, IF YOU’RE WATCHING, AND I KNOW
YOU ARE, I’M SORRY… THAT YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PRESIDENT. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT WAS EASY. THAT WASN’T THAT HARD. OKAY. THAT WASN’T HARD AT ALL. BARR ALSO SAYS THE SECOND PART
OF MUELLER’S REPORT FOCUSED ON OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE. AND OBSTRUCTION IS MURKIER
BECAUSE, AGAIN, ACCORDING TO BARR, MUELLER PRESENTED EVIDENCE
BOTH FOR AND AGAINST OBSTRUCTION, BUT “DID NOT DRAW A
CONCLUSION ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.” HE JUST LEFT IT UP TO OTHER
PEOPLE TO FIGURE THAT OUT. MUELLER PUT IT ALL IN HIS NEW
BOOK, “DID TRUMP OBSTRUCT JUSTICE? CHOOSE YOUR OWN INDICTMENT.” ( LAUGHTER )
BARR ALSO QUOTES MUELLER AS SAYING, “WHILE THIS REPORT DOES
NOT CONCLUDE THAT THE PRESIDENT COMMITTED A CRIME, IT ALSO DOES
NOT EXONERATE HIM.” WHICH TRUMP SUMMED UP THIS
WAY –>>IT WAS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL
EXONERATION. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: NO! NO, IT WASN’T. HE SAID IT DOESN’T EXONERATE
YOU! ( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE SIMPLEST CONCEPTS. (AS TRUMP)
“I JUST TRIED SOME ‘I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER’, IT’S
COMPLETE AND TOTAL BUTTER. I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH IT’S
BUTTER.” ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT’S ALMOST LIKE TRUMP DIDN’T
READ BARR’S SUMMARY. AND BY “ALMOST LIKE” I MEAN
“EXACTLY LIKE,” BECAUSE HE DIDN’T. AT 3:00 P.M. SUNDAY, MR. BARR’S
CHIEF OF STAFF, BRIAN RABBITT, CALLED ONE OF THE WHITE HOUSE
LAWYERS, EMMETT T. FLOOD, AND READ HIM THE LETTER. MR. FLOOD THEN BRIEFED MR. TRUMP
ABOUT MR. BARR’S LETTER. IT’S THE BEST NEWS OF HIS
PRESIDENCY, AND HE CAN’T EVEN BOTHER TO READ IT. (AS TRUMP)
“HOW LONG IS IT? FOUR PAGES? CALL ME WHEN IT FITS ON A HAT.” ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Jon: ROCK THAT OVER THERE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: SO HERE’S THE DEAL, MUELLER LEFT THE QUESTION
OF WHETHER TRUMP OBSTRUCTED JUSTICE
TO BARR, AND BARR DECIDED THAT, “INVESTIGATORS HAD INSUFFICIENT
EVIDENCE TO ESTABLISH THAT THE PRESIDENT ILLEGALLY OBSTRUCTED
JUSTICE.” SO HE MIGHT HAVE LEGALLY
OBSTRUCTED IT. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT BARR’S WHOLE DECISION IS A LITTLE SUSPECT BECAUSE, BEFORE
BEING APPOINTED ATTORNEY GENERAL, BARR WROTE A 19 PAGE
— HE VOLUNTARILY WROTE A 19-PAGE MEMO WHERE HE CALLED THE
OBSTRUCTION THEORY “FATALLY MISCONCEIVED” AND SAID THAT IT
WAS BASED “ON A NOVEL AND LEGALLY INSUPPORTABLE READING OF
THE LAW.” THAT’S A HELL OF A JOB
APPLICATION. “HERE’S MY CARD. IT SAYS ‘BILL BARR, OBSTRUCTION
IS NOT POSSIBLE.’ OH, I GOT THE JOB? WHAT’S MY FIRST ASSIGNMENT? DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT
OBSTRUCTION IS POSSIBLE? LET ME SEE THAT CARD AGAIN? NOPE!”
AM I DONE? CAN I GO? DONE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) OH, I’VE GOT TO STAY? BARR’S FINDINGS OF MUELLER’S
FINDINGS WERE A RELIEF FOR THE PRESIDENT. REPORTEDLY, WHEN TRUMP GOT THE
NEWS, HE EXPRESSED VINDICATION, THOUGH NO GREAT DISPLAY OF
EMOTION. (AS TRUMP, FLAT)
“NO COLLUSION. I WAS RIGHT. I’M HAVING THAT FEELING AGAIN–
YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE YOU’RE NOT ANGRY? WHAT’S THE WORD? IS IT HAPPNY? ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S LIKE HORNY, BUT FOR LIFE?” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) BUT, LATER, IN FRONT OF CAMERAS,
THERE WAS A BOUNCE IN HIS BONE SPURS —
“I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT AMERICA IS THE GREATEST PLACE ON
EARTH! THE GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH.” (AS TRUMP)
“GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH! ONLY IN AMERICA CAN I, A RICH
AND POWERFUL WHITE MAN, FACE NO CONSEQUENCES FOR MY ACTIONS
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NO, WAIT. PLUS, AND I DON’T SAY THIS OFTEN
ENOUGH, HOME OF THE WHOPPER.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I COULD GO FOR A WHOPPER.>>Jon: A WHOPPER JUNIOR!>>Stephen: DOUBLE WHOPPER
WITH CHEESE.>>Jon: OH, WOW!>>Stephen: AND EVEN THOUGH
MUELLER CONFIRMED RUSSIAN ELECTION
INTERFERENCE, THE KREMLIN IS TAKING A VICTORY LAP. PUTIN’S SPOKESMAN, DMITRY
PESKOV, RESPONDED WITH THE OL’ GLOAT AND QUOTE. “I WOULD LIKE TO QUOTE THE WORDS
OF A CHINESE PHILOSOPHER WHO SAID ‘IT IS VERY HARD TO FIND A
BLACK CAT IN A DARK ROOM ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT THERE,’
(RUSSIAN ACCENT) ( LAUGHTER )
“WE KNOW, BECAUSE WE EXECUTED THE CAT. ( LAUGHTER )
THEN LOCKED REPORTERS IN DARK ROOM.” ( LAUGHTER )
YESTERDAY, TRUMP WAS IN THE OVAL — YESTERDAY TRUMP SAID HE
COMPLETELY TRUSTS MUELLER’S RESULTS.>>IT BEGAN ILLEGALLY, AND
HOPEFULLY SOMEBODY WILL LOOK AT THE OTHER SIDE. THIS WAS AN ILLEGAL TAKEDOWN
THAT FAILED.>>Stephen: THOUGH TO BE FAIR,
IT IS HARD TO TAKE DOWN DONALD TRUMP. HE’S GOT A VERY LOW CENTER OF
GRAVITY. HE’S WEEK A WEEBLE TRYING TO
ATTACK A TRASH BAG FULL OF HAMMERS. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) BUT THIS IS HOW HE’S BEEN
TALKING ABOUT MUELLER AND HIS TEAM ALL ALONG. HE’S CONSTANTLY RAILED AGAINST
THE 13 ANGRY DEMOCRATS IN CHARGE OF THE RUSSIAN WITCH HUNT, AND
SAID THAT THE RUSSIAN WITCH HUNT IS RIGGED. NO, IN THE SALEM WITCH HUNTS,
THEY ALWAYS FOUND THEM GUILTY. IT NEVER ENDED WITH
(AS PURITAN) “SORRY ABOUT BURNING YOU ALIVE,
GOODY JENKINS. WE’VE LOOKED AT THE EVIDENCE AND
THERE’S NOTHING THERE. DUST YOURSELF OFF, AND– OH
YOU’RE ALL DUST AT THIS POINT? MY BAD.” ( LAUGHTER )
THAT’S MY PILGRIM IMPRESSION, BY THE WAY.>>Jon: MY BAD.>>Stephen: ALL ALONG, TRUMP
BLAMED THE ENTIRE WITCH HUNT ON A SECRET
GOVERNMENT CABAL KNOWN AS “THE DEEP STATE.” BUT HERE’S THE THING — IF THE
DEEP STATE IS A GOVERNMENT-WIDE CONSPIRACY DOING EVERYTHING IN
ITS POWER TO TAKE DOWN DONALD TRUMP, THEN THE DEEP STATE
SUCKS. ( LAUGHTER )
AT THEIR JOB. WHAT KIND OF INCOMPETENT
ILLUMANATI DO THEY HAVE WORKING OVER THERE AT THE DEEP STATE? ( LAUGHTER )
(AS DEEP STATE BUFFOON) “GOLLY, I TOLD THE FREEMASONS
WE’D BRING DOWN TRUMP WITH A SHADOWY BUREAUCRATIC COUP, BUT
THEN I GOT MY HEAD STUCK IN A MOP BUCKET AND DROPPED MY
INSTRUCTIONS FROM GEORGE SOROS IN THE TERLET! SO, IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I’M
GONNA GO GET THE HOLY GRAIL OUT OF SECRET GOVERNMENT STORAGE
AND FILL IT WITH MR. PIBB! WE CAN’T AFFORD DR. PEPPER.” KIND OF A SHOESTRING CABAL. I’M SHOCKED. SHOCKED. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. REALLY AN ACTOR. REALLY AN ACTOR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I’M SHOCKED THAT BARR SAYS THAT MUELLER SAYS HE DIDN’T FIND
COMPELLING EVIDENCE THAT THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN COOPERATED WITH
THE RUSSIANS. BECAUSE THAT MEANS THAT ALL
THOSE TIMES TRUMP TWEETED “NO COLLUSION,” HE… WAS RIGHT
( LAUGHTER ) DOES THAT MEAN TRUMP WAS RIGHT
ABOUT OTHER STUFF? IS IT ACTUALLY SPELLED,
“HAMBERDERS?” ( LAUGHTER )
DID HE ACTUALLY HAVE THE BIGGEST INAUGURAL CROWD OF ALL
TIME? ( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE, IF SO, THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY EYES. MAYBE I DIDN’T SPEND ENOUGH TIME
STARING DIRECTLY AT THE SUN. ( LAUGHTER )
SO, ANYWAY, SO THERE IT IS. MUELLER IS AN HONORABLE MAN AND
SAID DONALD TRUMP IS NOT A FOREIGN ASSET WHICH IS GOOD
NEWS. BUT EVEN IF TRUMP IS FALSELY
ACCUSED, HE ONLY HAS HIMSELF TO BLAME. BECAUSE HE LIES SO MUCH, YOU
JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE. HE EVEN LIES ABOUT THINGS HE
DOESN’T NEED TO LIE ABOUT. FOR INSTANCE, WE NOW KNOW THAT
TRUMP WROTE THE MEMO FOR DON JUNIOR SAYING THAT THE TRUMP
TOWER MEETING WITH THE RUSSIANS OFFERING THEM HILLARY’S EMAILS
WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT ADOPTION. THAT LIE IS AN OBSTRUCTION ABOUT
COLLUSION. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NO, NO. BUT BARR SAYS THAT MUELLER SAYS
THAT HE’S NOT SURE THAT THAT’S A CRIME. BUT WE KNOW IT’S A LIE. HE LIES SO MUCH, YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN HE’S TELLING THE TRUTH. IT’S JUST SAFER TO ASSUME HE’S
ALWAYS LYING. SO, THE REST OF TRUMP’S
PRESIDENCY IS LIKE A BIG BOWL OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH. HE PROMISES YOU, IT’S “THE
FINEST CHOCOLATE CHIPS IN THE WORLD.” BUT I PROMISE YOU, IF YOU
SWALLOW THAT, YOU’RE GOING TO BE EATING SOME RAT POOP. ( LAUGHTER )
WHICH, TECHNICALLY, IS NOT A CRIME, BUT IT’S GOING TO LEAVE A
BAD TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT FAIR’S FAIR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TRUE. TRUE STORY.>>Jon: TRUE STORY.>>Stephen: BASED ON A TRUE
STORY.>>Jon: THAT’S A TRUE STORY IF
I EVER HEARD ONE.>>Stephen: BUT BAR SAYS
MUELLER SAYS THERE WAS NO COLLUSION BETWEEN TRUMP AND
RUSSIA. SO WE HAVE TO CROSS COLLUSION
OFF THE LIST OF REASONS TRUMP IS UNFIT TO BE PRESIDENT. FELLAS, BRING OUT THE BOARD. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY. OKAY. LET’S FIND IT IN HERE SOME
PLACE. PUT KIDS IN
CAGES, REPEATEDLY HUMPED FLAG, GAVE SECURITY CLEARANCES TO
SON-IN-LAW, CALLED NAZIS “VERY FINE PEOPLE,”
HASN’T RELEASED TAX RETURNS YET, ALL THE BIRTHER STUFF,
THOUGHT FREDERICK DOUGLASS WAS ALIVE, TRIED TO BAN MUSLIMS,
GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT A SEX BOAT TO THE BOY SCOUTS, RUINED KANYE,
OKAY, COLLUDED WITH RUSSIA, TAKE THAT OFF. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, FAIR IS FAIR. LET’S TAKE THAT ONE OFF. OKAY. AND I REALLY WANT TO BE FAIR TO
HIM, SO I SHOULD ALSO CROSS MUELLER OFF THE LIST OF TRUMP
INVESTIGATIONS. ( CHEERING )
THERE YOU GO. ( CHEERING )
THERE YOU GO. SIR, IT’S GONE. THAT MUST BE ONE-SEVENTEENTH OF
A WEIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS! WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ELIZABETH WARREN IS HERE. BUT WHEN WE RETURN, MORE
MONOLOGUE. STICK AROUND!

Comments 100

  • Oh so we should believe Mueller, surrounded by nine democratic donators, you Liberals are Stone Cold stupid, let me say that again Stone Cold stupid communist socialist obtuse idiots you couldn't be stupider than you are now before you go out in the morning to put a big ol L on your forehead for loser… Cobert is an idiot, and it will be TRUMP 2020… 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

  • Bullshit! Charge Barr with treason now!

  • I think it's time ppl let trump do his job. He has been proven innocent learn to accept it !

  • Soo is trump a bad president or not?

  • There was collusion I’m guessing you hadn’t looked at the report yet

  • You can talk anything about a president in USA and no other countries allow that.

  • Colbert……enjoy the little box you will be living in the future….you frikkin clown asset.

  • Not funny

  • And now: Thanks Mueller for the pressconference🙏🏻❤️❤️. Obstruction – OH YEAH… IMPEACHMENT, get on with it 😂⚖️🙏🏻👏🏼👏🏼

  • Iam not an American but the world is ending

  • Yup, trump is not an asset…he's an asshat…

  • Innocent until proven guilty, sorry Trump 2020

  • "ORANGE MAN BAD!" NPCs love it

  • "we cant afford Dr. Pepper, we're kind of a shoe string Kabal" XD

  • Colbert is total garbage, not funny at all, and yes, colbert, your mouth is a [email protected]#$ holster for all the lying radical democratic mens johnsons! Your just a sad puppet thats playing the radical game! What a loser!

  • This is so good! Please keep this up! More of this please

  • Orange Man Bad!

  • I would make a list of why you're a horrible excuse for a comedian but I don't have all day.

  • This clown isn't even funny!

  • He should not be going into politics

  • If anyone had told you that after voting for this dufus the entire political system was gonna be a circus. Well let me tell you that anyone was right.. 😂

  • Not a Russian asset but surely a traitor

  • America has been compromised! Donald Trump hates America! And who is Melania Trump really? I mean, she kind of reminds me of Natasha from Bullwinkle! The world is laughing at you! And Nancy Pelosi, I think that's her last name! It is a shame that you have not done your job. And as unfair as America has been to black people Karma is something that God has to perform! Still I pray bless my country America

  • They (us and russia) are orchestrating a fake war over Iran so a handful of assholes can get richer. Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. So sad ( in trump voice)

  • Colbert has got so much painful to watch. I mean, making fun of Trump is one thing, but come on, a 16-minute string of the same bullshit on and on and on again is just terribly exhausting and pathetic.

  • WELL SAID. !!!

  • Like horny – but for life!

  • My ONLY reason Trump is a bad president is because he shills for Israel and Saudi Arabia over America. Nothing to do with home being a “racist” and whatnot.

  • this guy is being payed to do this. so obv.

  • I want a president who has open lines to foreign countries who isn't corrupt, the sad thing is I'm sorry Colbert is not funny and I have this factless hack piped into my home every night, I probably miss Leno and Letterman more than lefties miss Obama #colbertsux

  • Passionate

  • You are sorry he is a great president…because you are going down.

  • In the mouth of a liar, what is certain becomes doubtful

  • WHAT DID THE RUSSIANS DO? DID THEY STUFF THE BALLAT BOXES? DID THEY THEATEN ANYBODY? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

  • Kinda funny, (Not him) but how the Mueller report turned out for these Trump haters. The Mueller report showed no crime, no collusion, no obstruction (without a crime there can be no obstruction) . Listen Richard head Mueller's job was to gather evidence of a crime and he can recommend indictment. He found no evidence of a crime and did not recommend. Lord knows if Mueller could have he would have, he didn't. Fail. End of story. I do understand that SC is a comedian not a lawyer.

  • Let me tell you who he act like Peter griffin on family guy you will laugh so hard you say yea they both are a idiot and the same body size and hair but his hair is yellow like a helmet and they both live in a fantasy imagination world and the both of them talk so stupid you have to till ur head like stewie the little baby and say whaaaaattttttt did he say

  • Even as Tariff Man, as Trump likes to refer to himself, focuses only on disruption, Beijing is evidently operating on a higher level. China is outplaying the United States on two fronts.

    First, while Trump is on the verge of slapping tariffs on almost everything the U.S. imports from China, Beijing is picking and choosing wisely. It went to town on American soybeans, in part because it knew that Brazil and Argentina could provide ample alternative supplies. But it has left untouched other American exports that are more difficult to replace. China could, for instance, force its state-owned airlines to immediately shift from buying Boeing to European-based Airbus, but those companies would run into trouble accessing the parts and services needed to keep their costly existing fleets running. Beijing has therefore mostly spared the aircraft sector from retaliation thus far.

    Second, Trump has no real mitigation strategy to help the Americans facing the entirely foreseeable costs of his policies. Yes, he’s giving out tens of billions of dollars in agricultural subsidies—but that is, of course, a cost borne by Americans, not international rivals. His separate trade restrictions on nearly $50 billion in steel and aluminum imports have only worsened the effects of his fight with China; these restrictions have burdened American farmers by raising the cost of the equipment needed for harvesting or storing the crops they are now unable to sell abroad. And he’s compounding this short-term pain with possible long-term damage to previously healthy international relationships: Those steel and aluminum tariffs have mostly targeted trade from allies such as Europe, Canada, and Japan—not China. He also conducted a needlessly contentious renegotiation of the North American Free Trade Agreement, and has threatened tariffs on tens of billions of dollars’ worth of Japanese and European cars.

  • Oh this hasn't aged very well. Taking Barr at his word and then apologizing based on his lies?
    Yikes.

  • Maybe it’s not what’s wrong with Trump? Maybe it’s what wrong with us? Jeez nice to know that Russia didn’t make the US racist. Suck that we already were.

  • yes good weekend..i put more $ in the blakk beggars change cup at walmart than ever before..media invented evil ruzkies…now their stikkin it up yer dumb democrap azzez

  • what is really sad is that this egotistical megalomaniac who is undoubtedly a paranoid, a pathological liar yet a patriot….. and so you choose him as your leader. sums up the American psyche ! thanks America….. so tremendous,

  • somewhere along the line it's pretty obvious that stephen colbert forgot he was supposed to be funny #liberalismisfascism #comedyisnotnews

  • Yab daba Doo AG Skidmarks Bent Barr will do Cover-ups for Trump too.

  • We’ll settle for a Seinfeld ending !

  • As a member of the Masonic Family, I love you, Stephen Colber…t

  • Colbert is in love

  • orange man bad i saw it on cnn

  • All the Mueller report showed was that 2 of the most powerful men on earth…Putin & Trump were successfully able to obstruct justice & cover up their collusion. Why is this a big surprise to anyone? Putin for his part had 14 people murdered who had any knowledge of the collusion. Trump had many on his side jailed jailed including his lawyer, campaign manager & his secretary of defense. So they obstructed justice so well that e can't actually prove the collusion……but Mueller made it crystal clear that the evidence for the obstruction is overwhelming. SO WHY ISN'T THE CONGRESS GOING AFTER HIM FOR THAT AS MUELLER HINTED THEY SHOULD? eXPECTED THEY WOULD?

  • Trump is a great president and I always tell that to my liberal/democrat neighbors to piss them off. It's funny, but the snowflakes whine and complain but are afraid to get in a real confrontation with me. They know I can kick everyone of their beta-male asses.

  • Brain washed America’s iq is dropping by the second. The lowest iq having people live in Los Angeles BIG FACT. But in the words of Maynard learn to swim see ya down in Arizona bay. #brakethesanandrasfaltlineoff

  • so it only means one thing, Americans are not intellectuals.

  • Horny, but for life 7:53. Deep lol

  • You wouldn't know a good president if it bit you in the ass Stephen Colbutt. You wouldn't even have a show if it wasn't for the subject of Trump.

  • I LOVE that Stephen didn't take Leno's advice and not go political. Leno told him to not let people know his politics. Stupid on two fronts. 1) everybody already knew. 2) everybody also knows Leno is a (R).

  • Was colbert funny? I couldn't hear what colbert was saying with a Jewish cock in his mouth.

  • With 40 jewish staff writers, and mostly Jewish audience and laugh machines
    Colbert still wasn't funny at all.

  • With 40 American staff writers and entirely American audience (with few foreign citizens) and absolutely no laughing machines
    Colbert yet again strikes with comedy gold throughout this moment.

  • Trump does NOT have a dirty war on media, instead Trump has a very LARGE DIRTY WAR on specifically the FAKE NEWS MEDIA being all televised media except NEWS MAX and FOX NEWS and RT. All the rest of the media are owned and operated by a Rothschilds group calling itself the New World Order. This video was produced to smear Trump with lies and America sees this on their own and now a days, most of America HATES the Fake News outlets as described above.

    Now, the regular American will help Trump in his second term to fight Fake News by boycotting the Fake News, boycotting their advertisers and protesting the Fake News Media owners' houses 24/7/365 while extracting liberal teachers from our schooling systems and replacing them with conservative teachers after identifying the liberal teachers as political operatives which is illegal. And to leave no stone unturned, Hollywood will be invaded by investigators for the express purpose of extracting the deep liberals and leftists there too. The left is under siege world wide and we plan to keep it that way for the next 100 years. What do you call a hundred liberals that Hillary threw under a bus? People that need rescued that's what. #walkaway (hashtag walkaway) … .. ..

  • How about all the reasons colbert is a bad comedian

  • Jay leno was funny this guy is sick before him was letterman he was a angry person also obsessed with leno who got the job he wanted this guys obsessed with trump every night he goes on and on when did a sick obesession become funny

  • I understand the Colbert visited Epstein's pedo island 16 times. I thought he might be a pedophile.

  • Um, nobody was burned during the Salem witch trials. Over 200 people were accused, 5 of whom died in jail, and 20 of whom were executed (19 by hanging, 1—Giles Corey—by being crushed to death).

  • WHAT A NERD hell you laugh just looking at Stephen fits right in with them Dems

  • Please stop 're-introducing yourself. People already know who you are, and the applause you evoke sounds like self-aggrandizement. Love your show.

  • The boards were amazing OMG XD

  • Bad show!!

  • Colbert may just be the comic relief that helps us get through this presidency. Comic genius.

  • ..greatest place on earth..amongst the banana republics

  • Our fake president is a wonderful magician-showman…a terrible leader. America is being played like a bass fiddle at a barn dance.

  • Trump the Orange man is a fraud

  • I think you, I, and all Americans should be not only sorry for HIM being a terrible president, but feel guilty for him holding this post. Too many Americans were too dumb to actually vote for him, while another large part of US was too lazy, too comfortable, and too devoted to our personal petty issues, to miss the great shift in American policy – have an immoral person in charge. More over, we were so ignorant that could allow a person NOT knowing American history and culture and not recognizing American values and not understanding the concept of democracy to become a national leader!
    Shame on you, shame on me, shame on all of us!

  • 2020 4 more years !…….

  • Hey, it's George Soros' cock holster.

  • 🤡🌎

  • Imagine having that many investigations done on you and you're not guilty of one. People say Trump isn't sound of mind, most of you would try and take your own lives if your boss at work investigated your performance review.

  • I love that apology ❤️

  • Just because enough proof wasn't found doesn't mean he isn't in Putin's pocket

  • it's Like Attempted Murder it's still a crime he is Guilty for trying to commit .

  • And now we know he's willing to do it again in 2020…

  • Orange man bad.
    Thank you CNN for programming me.
    This was a statement written by NPC#2837.

  • 4:00 Me quito el sombrero 🎩 to you Señor Stephen Colbert Sir. And a big thumbs up 👍 👌🏼👏👏❤️❤️

  • I'd rather honestly go to jail for 15 months rather than go on social media and do donuts ! The end is in site – at least in prison there's people and things to do ! So I don't mind ! That's fine ! Just be careful when I get out all of everyone everywhere is going to jail and broke ! So it's worth it ! Come get me and let's start this !

  • Please make avaible copies of the “boards” on your website.

  • Love this guy

  • Love this guy

  • Love this guy

  • Love this guy

  • Stephen, if you want the best Whopper, go Aussie style. We have a Aussie burger that is a Whopper with cheese, bacon, egg and beetroot. Problem is that the bacon and the egg are to small for the burger. If you customize the Whopper Jnr with cheese and add the Bacon, Egg (and beetroot if you want), you get the perfect mini Aussie Burger…the best burger Hungry Jacks (Burger King) can make…

  • Look, if the US truly desire to defeat China, then it's only prudent to have Russia on US' side.

    But, what the US have done so far is pushing Moscow ever deeper into Beijing's orbit instead.

  • Fake report!

  • Ahhhh, ahhhhhhhh, seems to me that people in America, are literally incapable of forming a single sentence without saying,, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • [orange man] boooooooo [bad] WOOHOOOOOOO!

  • As opposed to the main reason he is a bad president?

  • Didn’t Kanye ruin Kanye before Trump entered the picture?

  • I though this guy was killed in a plane crash.

  • trump 2020

  • I was listening to Bernie Saunders on Joe Rogens podcast the other day .It was so well articulated .When he was finished
    i thought to myself this is how a president should speak.Then i listen to Donald Trump and when he is finished i actually feel a little stupider.Like living with a schizophrenic person and it sort of rubs off on you

  • bullshit

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