Chappelle’s Show – If the Internet Were a Real Place


WOAH SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU,
BUT I LIKE THAT SONG. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET
SOME MUSIC AROUND HERE OR… OH, YEAH, YOU CAN
GET IT RIGHT THERE. OH. OR YOU CAN
GET IT RIGHT THERE. [chaotic beeping] HEY, RON. SO YOU WANT TO
SEE ME HAVE SEX? NO, I’M COOL. WANT TO SEE PARIS HILTON
HAVE SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND? YES, I WOULD. COME ON.
ALL RIGHT. [snickers] I WANT YOU TO GET
ON TOP OF ME, FACE THAT WAY, SO WE CAN SEE HOW
PRETTY YOU ARE. [laughs] I DON’T KNOW
IF THAT WAS HER, MAN. IT WAS A LITTLE GRAINY– THAT NIGHT VISION–
YOU CAN’T REALLY TELL. I GOT TO SEE THAT
ONE MORE TIME, MAN. LET ME JUST SEE ONE MORE TIME.
LET’S GO. YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY,
WHY DON’T YOU JUST HOLD THIS, I’LL GO IN THERE
AND CHECK IT OUT, AND THEN I’LL BE
RIGHT BACK OUT, ALL RIGHT? THANKS, DUDE. I WANT YOU TO GET
ON TOP OF ME, FACE THAT WAY, SO WE CAN SEE HOW
PRETTY YOU ARE. THAT WAS HER ALL RIGHT. SHE PLAYED HERSELF. YOU SURE YOU DON’T
WANT TO SEE ME HAVE SEX? YEAH, I’M
ABSOLUTELY SURE, MAN. I JUST WANT TO GET THE SCORE
TO THE KNICKS GAME. THANKS, ALL RIGHT? I DO A GREAT DOGGIE-STYLE.
I KNOW, RON, OKAY? I GOT MY STROKE FROM YOU. THANK YOU, OBI-WAN.
I’M DONE WITH THE PORN. WHAT? YOU WANT TO SEE
NAKED PICTURES? HALLE BERRY FROM SWORDFISH? OF COURSE I DO. COME ON. DAMN, DUDE, YOU AIN’T
TELL ME THEY HAD THE GIRL FROM PRICE IS RIGHT. SHE GOT NAKED PICTURES. DAMN! THANKS, MAN. DAVEY.
YES, SIR? UM, YOU INTO GOAT PLAY? WHAT IS GOAT PLAY? LIZZY. [goats bleating] OH.
OH, MAN, THIS– ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
LET’S HURRY UP.

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