Cardi B & Nancy P Take On Trump & Unpaid Workers Crowdfund | The Daily Show

It is now day 27 of the longest shutdown
in American history. Funding for low-income housing
is in danger. School lunches
are facing cutbacks. And things have gotten so bad
that Air Force One is now being operated
by Spirit Airlines. (laughter) Poor Melania. She always pays
for Trump’s sins. Look at her.
She’s like, “This is not best.” Anyway, as you know, 800,000 government employees
have not been paid, all right? The U.S. economy is at risk
of sliding into recession, and now, even most concerning, the shutdown is even affecting
the world of hip-hop. Native Bronxite Cardi B now weighing in
on the government shutdown. Hey, y’all,
I just want to remind you because it’s been a little bit
over three weeks, okay? It’s been a little bit
over three weeks. Trump is now ordering,
as in summonsing, federal government workers
to go back to work without getting paid. I know a lot of y’all don’t care because y’all don’t work
for the government or y’all probably
don’t even have a job, but this shit
is really (bleep) serious, bro. I feel like we need
to take some action. I don’t know what type
of action, bitch, because this is not what I do. But, bitch, I’m scared. That is the most
amazing thing ever. (cheering and applause) That is so dope. Like, how cool would it be
if Cardi B somehow ended the shutdown,
right? Like, we find out
that Trump is a major fan because “Bodak Yellow”
is his favorite song and also the color of his hair. Like, that would be so insane. And I will say this,
if there’s one woman who Trump won’t end
the shutdown for, it’s Nancy P. Because, a couple of days ago, she wrote a letter
asking him to postpone his State of the Union address,
right, in light
of the government shutdown. And after two days– learning how to write,
I assume– the president wrote
a letter back. President Trump, moments ago,
cancelling House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s
overseas trip to Brussels, uh, Egypt, and the war zone
that is Afghanistan hours before the speaker
and her congressional delegation were set to leave,
uh, saying, in part, “In light of the 800,000
great American workers “not receiving pay,
I am sure you would agree “that postponing
this public relations event is totally appropriate.”
He goes on to write… (reading): -Ooh…
-(booing) You can feel Trump said it like it’s the worst thing
he could think of. “If you want to fly commercial, ah…!” That’s hardcore though, right? Cancelling her flight right before she’s about
to take off. That’s like the complete
opposite of a romantic comedy. Like, I imagine Trump
ran through the airport like, “Nancy! Nancy, wait! “Nancy! There’s something
I have to tell you.” And Pelosi was like,
“Yes, Donald?” He’s like, “Nancy, get the (bleep) off the plane.” (applause) Now… (cheering and applause) Now, to be fair to Trump, Nancy Pelosi’s letter
was a little bit snarky, right? But it’s crazy that Chump–
Trump’s GPS never takes him
onto the high road, right? ‘Cause he’s just like,
“Okay, Nancy, you want to play? Well, you’re messing
with the queen bitch now.” But, look, Cardi B is right. Something needs to be done, because the government
is not doing its job right now, and everyday citizens
have decided to step up. REPORTER:
As the shutdown drags on, some are getting desperate. Hundreds of furloughed
federal workers turning to GoFundMe, pleading for help
to pay the bills. Some are dipping
into their savings. They’re relying on credit cards,
even setting up GoFundMe pages. REPORTER:
The National Park Foundation has launched a campaign
to collect emergency funds. REPORTER 2: About 1,800
campaigns are raising money to help with rent, groceries,
student loans and more. Yes, government workers
are being forced to use GoFundMe to try and make ends meet. For more on how people
are coping with the shutdown, we turn to a man who gets
shut down at bars all the time. Michael Kosta, everybody. (cheering and applause) People are… people are using crowdfunding
to survive. Right? Some government workers
are even raising money to help take care
of national parks. -What-what do you make of this?
-Yeah. Well, I-I think it’s great, especially about the parks. I leave a lot of trash there
on the weekends. I didn’t know
that you go camping. I don’t.
I just take my trash there. I mean, why?
Where do you put yours, on the curb,
where a lawyer could find it? (chuckling):
I mean, you crack me up. I’m all for crowdfunding to
help people during the shutdown, because I love helping people. And more than that,
I love playing God. You know, sure,
Coast Guard, firefighter, I’ll throw you a hundo,
but not you, TSA inspector. Not until I get
my prescription shampoo back. I picked up
something pretty nasty when I was throwing my garbage
in the woods. You know what I’m talking about,
right? (laughter) No. Um… look, federal workers
shouldn’t have to depend -on charity to do their jobs.
-Mm-hmm. I-I don’t think that’s right.
I mean, it’s nice that people are stepping up,
but this isn’t sustainable. Well, it could be sustainable,
Trevor. If everybody just donated to the
services that they cared about, then we wouldn’t
even need government. (chuckles)
Worried about national security? Donate to the military. You want to help kids? I don’t, but give to education. Want to support a handsome,
high-quality entertainer? You can send me money on Venmo. I’m MichaelKostaTheComedian-4. Dash-four? So there’s three other
MichaelKostaTheComedians -on Venmo?
-No, they’re all me. -I just keep forgetting
my password. -Ah, I see. Okay, but-but, Michael,
here’s the thing, -widespread charity can’t fix
government’s issues, -Yeah. because you can’t guarantee
that you’ll have enough money -to pay for everything
that you need. -Okay. So, what if some people
don’t want to contribute? Well, don’t get your dimples
in a twist, T-bone, okay? We’ll make a rule.
Everybody has to give at least a little something
based on their income. Uh-huh. And-and so… -so we require people
to donate money. -Yeah. But how do we know
it’s going to the right places? Man, you sure do love questions,
huh? I’ll t… I’ll tell you what, we’ll hire people to figure out where all the donation money
should go, and then I don’t have
to think about it. Any other issues,
Trevor No-casio-Cortez? Yeah, I just… I just have one
more. I just have one more. Okay, deciding where the money
goes is a big responsibility… -Mm-hmm. -…so how do we decide
who’d be in charge of it all? It’s easy. We-we ask the public
who they want in charge, and then whoever gets
the most picks gets the job. And every few years,
we ask again. Michael, you-you realize
you’re describing a government. Fine. If-if that’s what
you want to call it, then let’s try this government
thing, and worst-case scenario, if it doesn’t work,
we’ll shut it down. There’s where we…
Michael Kosta, everyone.

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